fatedtales

Through Ashlee's Eyes, by Sammysam, 1/1

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 09:47:07 GMT

Title: Through Ashlee's Eyes
Author: sammysam
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Blake/Doris?
Spoilers: Final two weeks worth of episodes
Summary: What Ashlee saw, what Ashlee heard, what Ashlee schemed.
Rating: PG
Authors Notes: First, this is a follow up toAll Things are Difficult Before They are Easy. Second, I blatantly stole the title from one of the comments by q_wordy13. Thank you to my awesome editors, pdt_bear, rysler, q_wordy13, and wonkots42, for their suggestions, corrections, and willingness to edit for me after a random middle of the night email. I follow the canon plot line for the most part but have chosen to deviate where I needed too. I like my version a bit better anyway.
Disclaimer: Guiding Light is owned by Proctor & Gamble. I make no money from this. Though, they really don't deserve it.

After Lunch

Ashlee spent an hour or so talking to Rafe, though she wasn’t sure what to think about his reaction. The same guy who told his mom she was going to hell, effectively telling her now not to worry about it? It was hard to believe he was being genuine, but it wasn’t like she had anyone else to talk to about this. When Rafe finally left for work, she sat there contemplating her Coke for awhile longer before getting up. She needed to think. And she couldn’t do that sitting behind Company.

It being fairly early in the afternoon, she didn’t see anyone around as she made her way to the park, and she didn’t stop until she got to the small bridge. Tucking herself against one of the struts, she sat on the railing and tried to remember if there had ever been any sign, any hint that her mother was gay during her childhood. She couldn’t think of anything, not off the top of her head. She would have to spend more time on the subject, apparently. There had to have been something she’d missed, because no one was that good at keeping a secret, not even Doris.

Shifting on the railing, Ashlee looked out across the water on the other side of the bridge. Her eyes wandered blindly over the trees as she drifted in thought, until a movement of color caught her attention. Leaning to the side so far that she nearly fell off, her eyes widened. Not two hundred feet away sat her mother and Blake. Blake Marler, who had her arms wrapped around her mom like a… a… a spider monkey.

Was there something ELSE her mom had been keeping from her?

*****

Before Moving

In many ways, starting over wasn’t any different from the way things had been before. The car ride to lunch was quiet, as always, interrupted only by a phone call from Rafe saying that Ashlee should come help carry boxes, being that they were club members and all. When Ashlee passed on the message to Doris, casually, that Rafe wanted her to come help move his mom’s girlfriend back into his mom’s house, she discovered that she was not surprised at all by Doris’ lack of surprise at the news. Emboldened somewhat that her mom knew about Olivia and Natalia, and that she had obligingly turned the car around, Ashlee asked, “So, are you seeing anyone?”

Doris choked on a laugh, and when Ashlee looked over, she was amused by the blush on her face. “Umm… No, I’m not.”

Ashlee absorbed this, remembering the scene she’d witnessed a couple days earlier. “Has there been anyone at all?”

Doris flushed an even deeper red. “I’ve had… dates… but nothing serious since before you were born.”

Ashlee blushed herself as she realized that “dates” most likely meant “one night stands.” There was the normal embarrassment that came with the unfortunate image of her parent having sex, followed by a wave of pity for her mother. “Twenty years?” was all she managed to reply with.

Doris’ hands tightened perceptibly on the wheel, and Ashlee noticed for the first time just how deceptively small and fragile her mom looked. “It’s hard to have a relationship when your own child doesn’t know,” she muttered after a moment.

“Oh. Right.” The quiet in the car grew stifling as Doris focused on driving and Ashlee tried to think of something to say that would scare her mother back into secrecy again. “Who was the last one?” she finally asked, as Doris pulled into the driveway of Natalia’s farmhouse.

Doris shut off the ignition and looked out the window for several long minutes. Ashlee was just about to say… something, anything to break the silence when her mom took a deep breath and looked at her. “Let’s make a deal, Ashlee.”

“Ok…” She did not like where this was going.

“Saturday, why don’t you come over? You can ask me anything, anything you’ve ever wanted to know, and I promise I will answer every question. I just can’t do this sitting in a car. I can’t.”

There was an odd look in her mom’s eyes, and she didn’t like it. She reached over and touched Doris’ arm. “Ok, we can do that.”

Doris nodded once, and bit her lip. “Ok.” She patted Ashlee’s hand lightly, and unbuckled her seat belt.

*****

After Softball

The softball game had been an experience, to say the least. Ashlee was hard-pressed to recall if she’d ever seen Doris laugh so much, or so freely, so genuinely. It may have been twenty-some years, but it was clear that her mom had excelled at softball at some point, given her pitching ability and her hitting three homeruns in a row. She would have to remember to ask how she’d become team captain, if she’d never been anyone’s first choice for anything. She could believe it, knowing her mother and her… people skills, but it was something to add to the list.

When Natalia came out onto the porch and announced that dinner was almost ready, Ashlee followed Rafe and Emma inside to get plates while Josh and Frank tried to set up the tables. Carrying an armload, she stopped just inside the door, intrigued by what she saw.

It was probably completely innocent, but Ashlee couldn’t help but watch, and speculate. Doris had just dropped the pile of gloves in the grass by the corner of the house, when Blake walked up behind her, reaching out with one hand to caress Doris’ arm. Doris turned, clearly startled, but she relaxed slightly when she saw who it was. The red head grabbed at her hands, and Ashlee decided she must have asked something because there was a pause, and then her mom nodded and looked down. Ashlee thought she could see a smile on her face, but she wasn’t sure.

Blake said something else, and not for the first time Ashlee wished that she could read lips, because as soon as the publisher was done speaking, she dropped Doris’ hands and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, pulling the mayor into a tight hug. Doris was not as quick to return it, but when she did, her hands clutched at Blake’s back.

“Everything ok, Ashlee?” she heard behind her, and she turned to see a line of people, all holding food and drinks and silverware.

“Yeah. Everything is fine, Olivia,” she answered, walking out the door. Looking again at her mom and Blake, she was mildly disappointed to see them separated, though Blake still had her hands on Doris’ shoulders. She still couldn’t hear what was being said, but that really didn’t matter. It was enough to see her mom laugh as Blake pulled her to the table, fingers intertwined.

*****

During Cake

“Where’s Jemanda?” Ashlee asked, dropping into a chair next to Doris at the table.

Doris looked up from the cake she was eating, a half smile on her face. “She had to go to work. She could only stay for a little while.”

Ashlee contemplated that, remembering something from the other day. “I thought you said you weren’t seeing anybody?”

“I’m not,” Doris replied, pushing the plate away. “She’s just a friend.” At Ashlee’s amused, disbelieving look, she shrugged. “We went out a few times, but that was it. We’re just friends.”

“Well, she seemed nice,” Ashlee offered, enjoying way too much the sight of her mother squirming in her chair. Doris just looked at her and shook her head, but she was smiling.

They sat there in companionable silence, watching the others having fun on the dance floor. Given the joyful day everyone was having, Ashlee was surprised a few minutes later when Blake came rushing over, a look of panic on her face as she pulled over a chair and sat down practically in Doris’ lap.

“Help me!” she squealed, grabbing Doris’ arm.

Doris sat up quickly, tensing. “What’s wrong? What happened?” Ashlee pulled out her phone, in case she needed it.

Blake leaned forward and whispered fiercely, “Do you remember the other day, when I told you I’d started talking to a guy online a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah…” Doris said slowly, some of the tension being replaced by confusion.

“It’s FRANK!” she hissed, eyes wide.

At first, Doris just stared at her, and then Ashlee watched as her eyes crinkled and she bit her lip, trying very hard not to laugh. Ashlee had no such self control- she burst out laughing and slapped her hand over her mouth. “Frank?” she repeated, the name muffled behind her hand.

“Ashlee.” Doris pushed at her arm. “Go get two glasses of wine, will you?”

Grumbling about never getting to hear anything good, Ashlee got up and went to the cash bar. Once again too far away to hear anything, she settled for watching as her mom patted Blake on the hand, listening attentively as Blake explained… well, whatever it was with Frank. Doris even managed almost to keep a straight face, though Ashlee could see a bit of humor still in her eyes.

When Blake dropped her elbows onto the table and buried her face in her hands, Ashlee couldn’t not sigh quietly as Doris wrapped her arm around Blake’s shoulders. A silly grin crossed her face when Blake peeked between her fingers, then succumbed to the gentle pressure and leaned against Doris’ shoulder.

“Miss?” A voice behind her caught her attention. “Your wine?”

Ashlee ignored the two glasses on the counter. “No thanks. I don’t need them anymore.”

*****

After Weddings

“Do you know if Natalia has decided on a name yet?” Ashlee asked during a relatively quiet moment at Company, as she nursed a milk shake and Blake refilled the coffee maker.

Blake shook her head as she carefully poured in coffee grounds. When Ashlee had arrived, Blake was cleaning up what looked like an entire can of coffee grounds from the floor, and Ashlee didn’t think she wanted a repeat of that experience. “I don’t think so. I know she likes Madeleine, Emma likes Emily, and Olivia likes Gillian. But who knows?”

“What does Frank like?”

Chore done, Blake pressed the on button and closed the coffee can. “You know… I don’t think Natalia really cares what name Frank might like.” Her tone approached neutral, though she turned away just as Ashlee noticed the red flush on her face that had become rather familiar every time Frank’s name had come up in the last week.

“Really?” Ashlee was kind of surprised by that. She didn’t think Natalia was the type of person who would keep the father away from his child. She’d invited him to the sonogram, for crying out loud.

“Yeah.” Blake came around the counter and leaned back against it. “Natalia wants to raise the baby with Olivia. She won’t keep him out, but he’s not going to be the first, second, or third consideration, I don’t think.”

Ashlee glanced at her, taking in the troubled look on her face, and decided to change the subject. “So how’s the online dating going?”

Blake rolled her eyes and glared at her. “It’s not. I’ve given up on that.”

“But aren’t you lonely? I thought that was the whole point of it?” A cunning plan was starting to form in her head.

“Well, yeah, but finding someone through the internet? You don’t know a thing about them, really. You might end up talking to a serial killer, or a twelve year old.”

“Or Frank,” Ashlee interjected, gleeful.

Blake really glared at her this time, her cheeks an unnaturally dark red. “I’m starting to regret asking you to work for me.”

“Part time only, and you know you love me,” Ashlee replied cheekily. “But anyway, are you busy tonight?”

Blake looked afraid to reply. “No…” she said.

“You should come over for dinner. Mom’s cooking, apparently. You don’t want to miss this once in a blue moon event. There will be way too much for just the two of us, I can almost bet on it.”

“Well…”

“Great! We eat at 6:30. Bye!” Ashlee grabbed her purse and ran out of the restaurant. She waited until she was a block away, and then pulled out her cell phone and dialed. “Hi, Cyrus? It’s Ashlee. I’m free tonight after all, do you still want to catch a movie?”

This was going to be awesome.

All Things are Difficult Before They are Easy

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:06:46 GMT

Title: All Things are Difficult Before They are Easy
Author: sammysam
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Blake/Doris friendship
Spoilers: 9.4.2009 episode
Summary: Whatever happened after Doris left Company?
Rating: PG
Authors Notes: This was inspired by the absolutely amazing job OC did in her scenes on Friday. I lost track of the number of times I replayed her part on youtube, and by Sunday this little story would not leave me alone. I have taken some liberties with Doris' backstory, which I know very little about, beyond what was in Wikipedia and a few comments here and there. Thank you to my awesome editors, pdt_bear, rysler, q_wordy13, and wonkots42. Their suggestions helped immensely, and any remaining errors remain solely my own.
Disclaimer: Guiding Light is owned by Proctor & Gamble. I make no money from this.

Doris downed her shot, aware of Buzz’s concerned gaze the whole time. She shook her head slightly when he held up the bottle to pour another one, reminding herself resignedly that she did need to go back to work eventually. As she pulled herself up off of the stool, Buzz poured coffee into a travel mug and handed it to her, saying, “Don’t worry about it” when she started to open her purse to pay. “You look like you need it.”

Smiling tremulously, she took the coffee and left, intending to go back to city hall and attempt to run the town. Ten minutes later though, she found herself in the park, seated on a bench with sunglasses on hoping to hide the tears running down her cheeks. What she wouldn’t give for a hat right then, she didn’t know.

*****

Blake was having a great day, and it wasn’t even close to being over yet. The book would be published, the restaurant was saved, and she’d finagled payment for her “editor.” Ashlee’s excitement was infectious, and after an hour of trying to read through a new manuscript, she gave up and decided to go for a walk. She had energy to burn.

Twenty minutes and a caramel latte later, she was walking along the lake when she saw Doris sitting on a bench just off the path, wearing a rather large pair of sunglasses. Grinning, she dropped down onto the bench beside her. “Hey, Doris,” she greeted cheerfully. “Did Ashlee tell you the good news?”

She didn’t notice the choked laugh the mayor gave before answering softly, “No… No, she didn’t.”

“Oh…” That deflated her a little; she’d been wanting to tell someone about her brilliance, but she shrugged it off. “Well, I won’t spoil it for you then.” She glanced at the other woman in time to see her take a sip of her coffee. “Oh, I meant to ask, was there something you needed from me?”

Doris did look at her then, not following. “Huh?”

“Yesterday? You stopped by my room?”

“Oh, that.” Doris shook her head and looked down at her hands. “I was looking for Olivia, and heard Ashlee’s voice as I was walking by, that’s all.” Her voice caught as she said her daughter’s name, and for the first time, Blake really looked at her.

In the sunlight, she could see dried tear tracks on the mayor’s cheek. She gently touched her wrist, wrapping her fingers delicately around it, and asked, “Are you ok?”

Doris pulled away from her and looked out over the water. “I’m fine,” she muttered.

“Doris,” Blake said quietly, unconvinced, taking hold of her wrist again. With her other hand, she reached up and gently pulled the sunglasses off the mayor’s face. Doris closed her eyes, but sat quietly while Blake tucked her hair back behind her ear and then traced a fingertip lightly under her eye. “You are so not fine,” she murmured, taking in the flushed cheeks and smeared mascara and, when Doris blinked her eyes open, the redness in them. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” Doris hissed, tugging her arm away as she grabbed her sunglasses from Blake’s lap and tried to stand.

Blake tightened her grip enough to yank the other woman back down onto the bench. “The Doris Wolfe we all know does not sit in the park crying in the middle of the day. What happened?”

“Why do you care, Blake? We hardly know each other.”

Blake sighed patiently, sliding her hand down Doris’ wrist to hold her hand. “We may not be friends, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need one right now.” When Doris just looked at her, she sighed again, frustrated. “Look, I know everyone sees me as the town gossip queen, but I promise, whatever you tell me, I won’t say anything to anyone.” She paused, waiting for a response that never came, and added earnestly, “You can trust me.”

Doris laughed mirthlessly at that. “I don’t trust anyone.” When Blake just kept watching her, she set her sunglasses carefully in her purse. “Ashlee’s mad at me.” That sounded pathetic, saying it out loud. “I don’t know if she’ll be able to forgive me this time.”

To her credit, Blake didn’t laugh. She had no trouble seeing that this was not a laughing matter, not some trivial mother-daughter squabble. She just squeezed the hand she was holding, surprised and pleased when Doris tightened her own grip.

“What she said yesterday, about not knowing anything about me? She’s right. I’ve been keeping something from her for her entire life, and it’s damaged our relationship. But I told her some of it, this morning. I should have told her years ago, I know that, I know I should have… But every time I tried I got scared, and so… she’s spent her life thinking I didn’t love her, that I thought she wasn’t good enough, when the whole time it was me. The person I hated, the one that wasn’t good enough, was me.” Doris’ voice was soft, thick with the tears she thought she’d already shed enough of. “She walked away from me. I told her, and she just… walked away.”

Blake carefully raised her free arm and rested it on the back of the bench, fingers playing lightly with Doris’ hair. She bit back the urge to try and rush her; she was surprised enough already that Doris was actually talking to her, and she didn’t want to scare her off. She did edge a little closer, pressing their legs together and moving their joined hands to rest on her knee.

For awhile she didn’t think the other woman would say anything else, but start again she did, though Blake had to lean in to hear her she was speaking so quietly, her head turned away.

“I’ve known I liked girls… women… since I was twelve. I didn’t understand it, didn’t learn the words for it for years, but I knew it was different. I realized people thought it was wrong in high school, when I finally understood what the priest was talking about when he spoke from Leviticus. And I didn’t want to be different, I wanted to fit in, even though I never really did, so I dated a couple boys, but it was never right.

“It wasn’t until college that I met other people like me. I finally fit in somewhere, and decided to hell with my parents, I wanted to live my life for me. I met someone there; we were together for six years, from the last year of college, both our graduate degrees, and my first years with the D.A. in Cleveland. Karen. We were committed to each other, I thought, until I brought up having a family one day. Turned out, she didn’t want kids, and I have always wanted them. The only part of me true to the Irish Catholic, I guess, wanting a big family.

“She didn’t, but I went ahead anyway, to the clinic, and when I told her I was pregnant, she left me. It wasn’t what she wanted and she left. I left Cleveland and went home for awhile, to get away and figure out what to do next, only to have my parents kick me out three months later when I started showing. They disowned me completely, but then I had Ashlee and it didn’t matter. She was perfect. She has always been perfect.

“And then she was seven, and asking me why she didn’t have a daddy like all the other kids at school, and I tried to tell her, I did, but I chickened out. I didn’t want people to hurt her because of me. I wanted to protect her, I’ve always wanted to protect her, but I screwed it up, every time. I was the one who was mean to her; that hurt her. I ruined her life.”

Blake had gone completely still after that first sentence. Whatever it was that she was expecting to hear, this definitely wasn’t it. Doris’ hand had gone completely limp in her own, but Blake could feel her trembling where her other hand rested on the back of her neck. Doris didn’t bother to wipe away the fresh tears on her face, and Blake wondered if the other woman even realized that she’d started crying again.

“I don’t think you ruined her life,” she interjected, when Doris paused to draw in a ragged breath.

Doris jerked away from her, looking as if she’d forgotten she was actually talking to someone. For the first time, she met Blake’s eyes, and realized that the publisher hadn’t pulled away from her confession. “What makes you say that?”

“Ashlee is a happy young woman. She doesn’t act like someone who thinks their life has been ruined; you want to see that, look at Rafe Rivera. She’s working, she’s got friends, she doesn’t spend all day complaining about you, and she’s not bitter. She loves you.”

“But…”

“Have things been easy between you two?” she went on. “No, they haven’t. But despite everything, jail, Cooper, the election, she loves you, and she wants to know you.”

Doris sniffed, looked at her lap, and then rubbed her eyes. “She’s so angry at me.”

“She’ll get past it.” Blake smiled encouragingly when Doris eyed her in disbelief. “She will! Have you kept something important from her? Yes. But you told her. It took a while, but you started the process of letting her in. Give her some time to think it through, settle into it. It’s big news, but you can build on this. It’s not too late.”

Doris pulled her hand out of Blake’s grasp, and this time, Blake let her. She shifted on the bench and wrapped her arm more firmly around Doris’ shoulders. “You were very brave today,” she mused, watching Doris watch the ducks in the lake.

Doris laughed a real laugh this time, at that. “I’m sitting in a park crying my eyes out. You call that brave?”

“Yes,” Blake replied with a charming smile.

Because it was there, Blake leaned her head against Doris’ shoulder, her arm dropping down between the bench and the Doris’ back. “Does anyone else know,” she asked a moment later.

“Olivia and Natalia,” was the reply.

“You told them?”

“No. Olivia found out and told Natalia. It’s a long story.” Doris sounded a little guilty, and Blake couldn’t help but remember a news conference from that winter, where no one had been named, but there’d been rumors after that of some interestingly defensive behavior from one Olivia Spencer.

“Hmm,” was all she said. There were other days to come to get to the bottom of that story.

They sat there for a while longer, and Doris started to relax against her. “Are you going to be ok?” she asked quietly.

Doris didn’t answer right away. “I think so,” she said in the end. “I’ll give her time. She had to wait twenty years for me to be honest with her, I can wait for her. As long as I need to.”

“Good.”

“Blake?”

“Yeah?”

Doris reached out tentatively and took Blake’s hand. “Thank you.”

The Five Best Dates Olivia and Natalia Ever Had

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 10:51:33 GMT

Title: The Five Best Dates Olivia and Natalia Ever Had
Author: sammysam
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Spoilers: None beyond knowing that they love each other.
Summary: In Chicago. By the lake. In a restaurant. At home. Emma’s winter break.
Rating: PG
Authors Notes: The title came from rocketchick’s prompt in response to the prompt I gave. I definitely didn’t expect these to come from it. They were written while at work, on a train to Narita, and at work again. Clearly, I need more work to do. Beta'd by pdt_bear.
Disclaimer: Guiding Light is owned by Proctor & Gamble. I make no money from this.

I

“I can’t believe we’re here,” Natalia said softly, smoothing down her skirt nervously as she stopped just inside the door, staring around. She looked completely out of her depth.

Olivia bit back a sigh, and pressed her fingers to Natalia’s elbow, drawing her further inside. “I told you I wanted to take you dancing while we were in Chicago. Where did you think we were going to go?”

“I know… I know… I just…” Natalia felt her face flush in something akin to shame as she watched Olivia’s eyes dim and her shoulders tense. Natalia looked around again, anything to not see that look on her face. It didn’t seem as shocking on the second look that there were only women in the club, as far as she could tell. Some were chatting, some were dancing, and others were kissing.

“One dance. Please?” Olivia hated the pleading sound of her voice; in the last six months it seemed like she’d done it more than ever before. “All I want is one dance with you.”

Natalia said nothing, but she slowly reached out to take her hand. There was fear in her eyes, but she took a step closer, trusting Olivia, if no one else.

Olivia grinned, relaxing back into her confidence. On the dance floor there were several other couples, and other than a few glances at the new comers, everyone seemed pretty focused on their own partners. Olivia settled her arms around Natalia’s waist, and they danced.

One dance became two, and then five, and then more, as the music changed and Natalia relaxed and realized that she was having fun. After a half an hour, she pleaded thirst to take a break, and Olivia went to the bar while Natalia ran for the bathroom.

She stood there, leaning against the bar as she waited and people watched. Other than a couple of ladies nights with Doris when Natalia was busy, Olivia was just
as new to the lesbian social scene as Natalia was. And, seeing as her only real example of lesbianism was a deeply closeted, tragically outfitted mayor, this was the first time she had a chance to actually see women be together. It was interesting.

As was the woman half the room away, who’d noticed her people watching and made her way over, looking like a woman after a prize. “Hi,” the woman practically purred as she stopped next to her. “I’m Angela.”

Olivia had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Natalia would not be happy to see her getting chatted up by a blond. “Olivia,” she replied after a moment.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you before. You new to Chicago?”

“I’m just in town for a few days, thought I’d check the place out.” The bartender slid two drinks in her direction, and she smiled at her in thanks as she demurely took a sip of her martini.

“Here on business?”

“Something like it, anyway.”

“There’s more to Chicago than just businesses and meetings.” Angela leaned in, resting a hand on the bar near Olivia’s arm.

“I’m sure there is,” Olivia murmured.

“I can show you some of the sights, if you’d like. We could start with dancing, and go from there.”

“I’m afraid she can’t,” came a voice that bordered on dangerous from behind Olivia. Natalia stepped into view, her hand coming to rest possessively on Olivia’s bare skin, above the low cut back of her dress. “She’s taken.”

Olivia smiled politely at Angela, setting down her drink and wrapping her other arm around Natalia’s waist. “Thank you for the offer, though. Have a good night,” she added cheerfully, as Natalia tugged her back to the dance floor.

Though she wrapped her arms around Olivia’s shoulders as she’d done before, Natalia glared at her, annoyed. “Why were you flirting with her?”

Olivia reached up, took one of Natalia’s hands, and pressed her fingers to her lips. “She was flirting with me. I was not flirting back. I know who I belong to.”

“And who is that?” Natalia inched forward to feel the warmth of Olivia’s body against her own.

Olivia let go of her hand and threaded her fingers through Natalia’s hair, leaning in to press her mouth against hers. “I’m yours.”

II

More than once during the day, Olivia regretted giving Natalia the day off. Without her, the problems of the day were more annoying, the conference calls more frustrating, and her employees more incompetent. How she’d survived without her assistant she had no idea, but she resolved again to never let the woman out of her sight ever again. By the time she got home that night, she was so drained that she contemplated seriously just sleeping on the couch because the thought of the stairs was just too much.

She dumped her briefcase and purse unceremoniously on the kitchen table, sending a scrap of paper fluttering to the floor. She almost ignored it, but Natalia’s neat handwriting caught her eye, and she sighed and stooped to pick it up.

Liv,
I’m down by the lake.
Please join me?
~N

Olivia hesitated. She really, REALLY, wasn’t in the mood for a walk down to the lake… But Natalia didn’t ask her for much, ever. She’d probably also get a hug out of it, and God knew she needed one.

Leaving her jacket behind, she locked the door and made her way slowly down to the lake, shading her eyes against the setting sun. Partway around, near where Emma liked to feed the ducks, Natalia sat on a large quilt, a wicker basket by her feet. “Hey.”

Natalia turned to look over her shoulder, and a loving smile met her gaze. “Hiya.” She patted the blanket beside her. “Did you just get home?”

Olivia sat carefully, leaving her shoes on the grass. “Yeah… Long day.” She eyed Natalia. “You’re never taking a day off again, I swear…” she said seriously.

Natalia laughed softly. “You say that every time and yet you keep agreeing when I ask for one.”

“Fine, next time you take one, so do I.”

“Missed me then?”

“Always.”

Natalia leaned against her arm, and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “I’m sorry you had a bad day,” she whispered.

Olivia felt some of the day’s frustrations fade away in the face of Natalia’s sweetness. She was such a sap. Pulling Natalia’s hand into her lap so she could hold it with both hands, she asked, “How was your day off? You never said what you planned to do with it.”

“It was good. I got some housework done, and the shopping. Emma wanted me to show her how to make sopapillas on Saturday, and we were out of cinnamon.” She decided not to mention the new dress she’d bought. She had wanted to surprise Olivia with it that evening, but plans changed. And there was nothing wrong with a little anticipation.

Olivia held her hand for a moment longer, than wrapped her arm around Natalia’s shoulders. No wonder her heart gave out, she mused, when she didn’t have Natalia to soothe her soul. She laughed at herself quietly as she stared across the lake. God, how had she gotten so pathetically sentimental?

Their attention was eventually drawn to the picnic basket, and they feasted on sliced apples, creamy macaroni and cheese that was amazingly still warm, and pita bread stuffed with chicken. When they were done, they lay curled up together on the blanket, occasionally sharing soft kisses until they closed their eyes and just rested against each other. They were almost asleep when Olivia suddenly opened her eyes and sat up. “Date night,” she muttered, rubbing her eyes with her hand.

“What?” Natalia asked as she pushed herself up, but Olivia didn’t look at her.

“I completely forgot tonight was date night. I ruined your plans, I’m sorry.”

“Olivia.” Olivia peeked at her, sorrowfully, before staring back down at the blanket. “What makes you think this wasn’t the date?”

“But… You said yesterday that you’d made reservations.”

Natalia, having much experience at this, touched her fingers to Olivia’s cheek and turned her enough to kiss her. After a rather thorough kiss, she pulled back enough to murmur, “plans change.”

“But…”

Natalia kissed her again. “I called after lunch, and Greg said that you were having a rough day. I decided this would be better.”

Olivia closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, Natalia could see the hint of tears even as she smiled. Olivia reached up and tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear as she leaned in. Their lips a breath apart, she replied, “This was perfect.”

III

It had seemed like a fool proof plan, even disregarding some of the not exactly helpful suggestions from Emma. It was a Thursday, not known for being a terribly sociable night, but when Olivia had booked the table on the terrace of the country club restaurant, she had no idea that every. Single. Other. Resident. Of Springfield had decided to dine there that very same night. They were barely to the main course, and hardly five whole minutes had gone by the entire meal without someone stopping by to say hi to Springfield’s notoriously boring (to the gossip hounds anyway) lesbian couple.

At first it was Blake, who was a member of the club and so possibly had a legitimate reason to be there, followed by Remy, who did not. It just spiraled from there, and Natalia was too nice to turn away anyone, even as she kept one eye on Olivia, who was glaring into her plate.

It happened because Olivia was on her fourth glass of wine, she’d been nervous to begin with, and frustrated beyond belief that the night was not going as planned. Father Ray, who appeared to have reconciled himself to the relationship after two years, looked over in the middle of a discussion about an upcoming pancake breakfast in time to see Olivia down the rest of her wine like it was a shot of tequila. “Are you alright, Olivia?”

“No, I’m not alright,” she growled, slamming her glass back down on the table. Both the priest of Natalia looked taken aback. “I’m sitting here, trying to ask my girlfriend to marry me, and this bloody town won’t give me five freakin’ minutes to do it!”

Looking back, it was almost a tossup which reaction pleased her more: the complete, utter shock no Father Ray’s face, or the way Natalia, after a few seconds of shock, had practically leapt into her lap, whispering yes even as she pressed kiss after kiss to Olivia’s mouth. Almost a tossup.

IV

It was, Olivia pondered uncountable times in that first year, so much better to have a wife instead of simply being one. Not just because someone else took care of the cooking and the laundry and the house stuff, though she’d be the first to admit that it was a perk that Natalia actually liked all that. Olivia just preferred to be in charge of stuff than to do that… wifely stuff.

Which is why it was so amusing to everyone who knew them that it was not Olivia who held the power in their relationship. All it usually took was a look from Natalia or a flash of those dimples and Olivia was putty in her wife’s hands. And they both knew it. That was how she found herself so often doing things like pushing the cart when Natalia was buying new flowers for the garden, or keeping her company while she read through a manuscript for Blake.

It took awhile for Olivia to realize that they didn’t date much anymore. There were all these little things they did together instead, and Olivia wouldn’t miss them for the most expensive wine and dinner in the world. The best part? She ALWAYS got a kiss goodnight. And gave as good as she got.

V

One thing Emma could count on every week that she was home was babysitting every Tuesday night. For free. Because Tuesday was date night for her parents, their three to five hours a week away from, this year, a rambunctious four year old and her five year old evil twin. At least there were no more diapers. The summer before her senior year in high school, she’d been certain that it was punishment from on high for telling her mom that she wanted to go to college on the east coast, instead of Chicago, like it was a crime. That was the first year there were two of them.

Date night became sacred sometime during her first year in high school, after all but disappearing after the wedding. Mama never answered her when Emma asked her why her mom was all of a sudden bringing home expensive flowers again. She didn’t think there had been any arguments that would require flowers and wine, but on the upside, her jar of “I can’t believe I walked in on you guys making out again” money filled up faster than ever that time around.

Her favorite date night memory was from the year before, during the winter session she’d spent at home. Her mom had been secretive and energetic, refusing to give even a hint of her plans for the evening. But when Emma and Rafe had brought the kids back after an evening at Rafe’s apartment, they found the women curled up together under a blanket on the couch, watching a video Emma didn’t know existed of a school project from twelve years earlier.

After getting the kids settled in bed, Rafe left, and Emma sat on the stairs watching the tail end of her speech. It was so weird, seeing herself as a little kid. When it was over, she noticed the two plates with cake crumbs on them, and couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What are you guys celebrating anyway?”

She watched Mama blush and hide her face against her mom’s neck, and she rolled her eyes. It was Mom who answered, brushing her fingers against Mama’s cheek. “Our first kiss.”

Mama laughed, and Emma could tell without seeing her eyes that there were tears in them, and then, as if to recreate the moment, she was treated to another round of watching her parents make out on the couch. This time though, she just shook her head at the sappiness and left them to it. She probably wouldn’t even charge them for it. Maybe.

More Than Here

Tue, 26 May 2009 09:18:51 GMT

Title: More Than Here
Author: sammysam
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Spoilers: Through the 24 April 2009 episode, AU-ish from there.
Summary: One of these days, Olivia has to move back to the farmhouse.
Rating: PG
Authors Notes: Thanks to rysler, pdt_bear and hysteria74 for the betas. This was written about a month ago, when the last episode I'd seen was the 24 April one. Three weeks without being able to watch it and my mind came up with my own storyline to keep myself occupied... and this is the result. Also posted in passion_perfect

Olivia shut the door and leaned back against it, smiling as she brushed her lips with her fingers. Grinning widely, she pushed away from the door and went to track down her daughter. The memory of Natalia’s kiss would have to wait a few more minutes to be enjoyed.

***

It had been just over a week since Natalia had run from her wedding. Nine days, since first Olivia and then Natalia had screamed out that they each loved the other, and while everything else around them was falling apart, two small pieces were slowly coming back together. Dinner after Emma’s school play had been the start of it, and they’d had dinner together every night since then. As a family. As it should be. They ate out every night, and then Natalia would drive them back to the Beacon and walk with them up to their suite.

The third night, they finally kissed good night in the doorway. The night after, Natalia came in for a little while, to spend more time with Emma, and to spend more time with Olivia. They did talk, a little, about things they forced themselves to avoid during the work day. They edged their way around the issues of Frank, and the chances of a relationship working out, and whether they were willing to put Emma through… whatever. They touched, holding hands, and hugging, and just being together in ways they hadn’t since just before Frank’s proposal.

They kissed, too, once Emma was in bed. The awkwardness faded as they grew accustomed to each other. It never went further than kissing, but Olivia craved the way Natalia felt in her arms, and she was always the one, nightly, to put an end to it all. And nightly, she could see Natalia fight down the urge to ask her to come home. She fought the urge to say yes to the unspoken question.

***

About an hour later, Olivia was in bed, reading, when Emma sleepily came into the room and crawled onto her bed. She’d done this almost every night since they moved out of the farmhouse. Olivia rubbed her back and turned off the lights, settling in for another night of restless sleep. The hotel was so quiet, in comparison to the farmhouse. What had driven her crazy six months earlier, she found herself missing- the wind against the windows, the creaking of the trees. Even all those crosses Natalia had hung on the walls.

Lost in thought, the ringing of her cell phone caught her off guard. As she grabbed for it, Emma pulled her pillow over her head. “Hello?”

There was only silence on the other end. Just as she was about to pull the phone away and check the caller ID, she heard a simple, quiet, “I miss you. Come home.”

And that was it. Olivia could not say no to that voice. She never could. “Ok,” she whispered, and the call cut off. She sat there, looking down at her phone, and then looked over at the unmoving lump that was her daughter, buried under her blankets. She carefully, got out of bed and pulled a bag out of the closet. Making her way to Emma’s bed room, it only took her a few minutes to pack a couple days worth of clothes and put all her school things in her back pack. Five minutes later, she was packed for herself, and putting on her shoes and coat over her pajamas.

Kneeling down on the other side of the bed, she picked up the pillow and smoothed Emma’s hair back. “Sweetheart, you need to wake up.”

Emma pouted and turned her face away. “I’m sleeping.”

“It won’t be for long, I promise. We’re going home.” She couldn’t keep her voice from cracking on the last word.

That got Emma’s attention, and she scrambled up out of bed, nearly knocking her mother over. “Back to Natalia?”

Olivia pushed herself up, and handed her daughter her coat. “Yes… Back to Natalia.”

Emma grabbed her hand and dragged her to the door. “Let’s go!”

Olivia couldn’t help but laugh. “Just a moment, love. Take your back pack, and then we’ll go.”

***

It was only a fifteen minute drive to the farmhouse, but Emma was asleep again by the time they arrived. Olivia carried the bags into the living room, and then went back for Emma. She led her carefully through the living room and up the stairs to her room, and tucked her into bed. She pressed a light kiss to her forehead and pulled the blankets up higher over her.

Out in the hallway, Olivia stared at the closed door of her room for a moment, biting her lip in hesitation. Finally, she walked passed her door and opened Natalia’s, shutting it softly behind her. In the light from the window, she saw Natalia on the far side of the bed. Kicking off her shoes, she dropped her coat on the floor and sat down on the edge of the bed, her back to the other woman as she looked down at her hands.

The bed shifted as Natalia rolled over, and soft, warm fingers curled around her elbow. Bracing herself on one hand, Olivia turned to look at her, as Natalia slid her hand down to rest over Olivia’s on the bed. “Welcome home,” Natalia said softly.

Olivia pulled away, hesitated, and then pulled back the covers enough to slide under them, settling stiffly close to the center of the bed. Natalia shifted again, and rested her hand on Olivia’s shoulder. Without a thought, Olivia reached up and covered that hand with her own. Her thumb rubbed lightly over Natalia’s knuckles, and then she intertwined their fingers. She felt a warm rush of air against her arm as Natalia signedsighed, and she closed her eyes. A few minutes later, she said quietly, “I’ll call the moving company in the morning.”

Natalia squeezed her fingers in response. “Good.”

***

When Emma woke up and saw the familiar, though empty, walls of her room, she squealed with delight. She didn’t care that she still had to go to school, she was home, with her mommies. She climbed out of bed and ran out of her room, going straight for Natalia’s. She opened the door and stopped in the doorway, grinning happily. Her mommy was asleep on her stomach, and Natalia was pressed against her side, an arm around her. Approaching the bed, she climbed up to kneel on the edge, and shook her mom’s shoulder. “Mommy?”

It was Natalia who opened her eyes, blinking sleepily at her as she tightened her arm around Olivia. “Emma?” she mumbled.

Emma bounced lightly on the bed. “It’s time for breakfast.”

“Ok… Go get dressed, we’ll be there in a minute.” Natalia felt Olivia freeze under her arm, and she knew she was awake.

Emma hesitated, remembering something. “I don’t have any school clothes here anymore.”

“There’s a bag by the couch with your things in it,” Olivia muttered, not moving or opening her eyes.

“Ok!” Emma kissed Natalia’s cheek, and then her mother’s, and scampered out of the room.

***

Olivia rolled over slowly as Emma’s footsteps faded. Natalia sat up against the headboard and watched as Olivia covered her face with her hands and groaned, “Oh god… I forgot about Emma.” She slid on hand down enough to look up at Natalia, her eyes still heavy with sleep. “What are we going to say to her?”

Natalia felt no such panic, and rested her hand on Olivia’s hair. “I don’t think she thought anything of it. She didn’t seem surprised.”

Olivia pressed herself up to sit next to Natalia, and she hesitantly met the other woman’s gaze, relaxing somewhat at the softness in her eyes. “We… should talk about this. Her, and… and Rafe. All of us.” She didn’t like feeling so uncertain. She wasn’t used to it.

“We will. But first, breakfast and the school bus. We have time for everything else.”

***

By the time Olivia made it downstairs after brushing her teeth, Emma was dressed, eating toast and banana slices, and Natalia was spreading jam on one half of a sandwich. “Superhero,” Olivia teased as she walked passed her to the coffee pot. Natalia just smiled at her, a faint blush on her cheeks.

When Emma’s bus arrived, the women went out to the porch to see her off. As the bus drove off, Natalia slipped her arm through Olivia’s, leaning her cheek against Olivia’s shoulder. They stood like that for a moment longer, and then Olivia turned to wrap her arms tightly around her. They settled into the hug, resting comfortably against each other.

“We can do this, can’t we?” Olivia asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful moment.

Natalia nodded, her lips brushing Olivia’s neck. “Yes, we can.”

A Life in Numbers

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:49:22 GMT

Title: A Life in Numbers
Author: sammysam
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Callie/Erica
Rating: PG-13
SpoilersSeasons 3-5 up to Rise Up
Archiving: P&P, anywhere else please ask
Summary: Counting down. That was what Callie's life had turned into.
Author's Note: This is the other fic I wrote while I was away; written without having seen any episodes after the season premiere, but based on the discussions and spoilers I found. Thanks as always to rysler, pdt_bear and beccaboo737 for the beta. Cross-posted at erica_callie and passion_perfect
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and make no money from them. If I did, I would still be watching the show.

Counting down. That was what Callie's life had turned into. Or maybe it was counting up. Either way, that was her life. 389 days since she got married. In Vegas. In front of Elvis. God, was that a disaster. 360 days since George slept with that blonde bitch. 349 since he told her. 330 since she filed for divorce, and 300 since it was official.

Divorced. Boy, had her dad been pissed about that. Well, actually, come to think of it, he was not as pissed as he was about the marriage in the first place. He was still pissed about the divorce, but she knew he was relieved that George was out of her life. And so was she. Relieved.

Where was she? Oh, right. 305 days since Erica Hahn was hired to replaced Dr. Burke. 289 days since they first went to Joe's and Erica kicked her ass at darts. 270 since they first spent an entire night dancing and went for coffee on the way into work. 260 days since she first talked Erica into trying yoga. At sunrise. 245 since Addison came back to do a surgery and started putting ideas in her head. 243 since Callie had looked back at their table and see the wistful look on Erica's face as she watched her dance. 242 days since she decided that continuing to sleep with Sloan would keep her from thinking about Erica at night. 241 since that failed spectacularly. At 220 days, Erica called her on it, and almost made Callie want to chase after her out of the scrub room. It had only been 202 days since Erica kissed her in the elevator, and 194 since she kissed her back.

God… had it only been 180 days since they had agreed to give it a try, and went back to Erica's to celebrate Callie's triumphant, amazing treatment with a bottle of wine and a late movie, just like they used to do? Even though they fell asleep together in Erica's bed, it was just like before, when they did that as friends after a late night out. 169 days since their first official date, where Callie embarrassed the hell out of herself infront of Bailey and Erica had been so sweet, and nervous in her own way as she'd held out a single rose to her after they left the restarant. She'd hidden it next to her purse on the floor, afraid of beeing too forward, and Callie's heart had melted a little, right there. It was 160 days ago that they'd given in, after several nights of kissing and touching… oh wow the touching… Erica had such unbelievably soft skin, and felt so good pressed against her, and Callie couldn't believe it when she locked up.

The next day she went to Marc for help, and cheated on Erica while trying to figure out how to please her. Ambushing her in the on-call room was the only way she could manage to ignore the hurt she'd put in her eyes. 150 days since Erica's revelation, and the second round of cheating, brought on by Erica's certainty and her own fear of being wrong. Again. 145 days since Erica found out about Izzie and Denny. Callie almost couldn't believe that she'd backed the bitch, but at that moment all she could think about was her residency, four months from being over, put in jeopardy if Erica called UNOS and brought on an investigation. The last thing she'd expected was Erica's anger directed at her. Or bringing their fledgling relationship into a work disagreement. Callie even called it a relationship, as short as it had been, and as much as had gone on in the last week. And then Erica was gone.

How many… Oh, 144 days since Erica resigned. Mid-morning the chief heard that UNOS was starting an investigation into the events of the previous May for transplant fraud. The program wasn't suspended yet, but until the investigation as over, they were all being watched. Carefully. Izzie was suspended, officially, and Erica didn't return any of her calls or answer her door, and when Callie tried her key, the chain was on. On day 134, Erica's phone had been cancelled, and the locks changed. Callie went home and cried for the first time in 11 days. Four days later, the chief was suspended, and Derek took over. He mentioned off handedly that a couple hospitals had called him that afternoon for a recommendation on Erica, and he'd given her a good one. He at least didn't fault her for what she'd done.

120 days, Callie sent in her final applications for post-residency programs. She got a good recommendation out of Derek without even trying, nor did he try to convince her to stay. Neither did Marc, who'd finally also stopped trying to get her back into bed. 95 days ago, Callie was back in Seattle after flying all over the country for three face-to-face Fellowship interviews. It was nice to be away. Thirteen days later, she got offers from all three, and now she just needed to make a choice. At 58 days, she'd made her arrangements quietly, not that she had done anything loudly in three months. Except for her surgeries, she was a ghost in the hospital, living once again at the Archfield and existing under the radar of the committee that was still monitoring the hospital after all this time.

It's been 35 days since Callie was done. Done with her residency, done with Seattle Grace. Leaving for the final time, she stopped and looked back, expressionless. She was done. 22 days ago, she was all moved into her first actual apartment, an event her dad had come up to help her with. She'd taken the opportunity, the third day, to talk to him. They'd fought, but he came back the next day, hugged her, and directed the movers to take a beautiful new cedar chest into her bedroom. Four days ago, she went out dancing, for the first time in five months. Throughout the night she started to dial the number she'd found ~~hunted down~~ that morning, but in the end she just kept dancing.

Here she was now, once again standing outside a hospital, looking up. She'd come in yesterday to do paperwork, but did not stick around to meet anybody. See anybody, outside of admin. Today would be the day that determined if she had in fact made the right choice, but right or not, she would stick with it. She was nervous, but not afraid. Anxious, but sure. No matter what, this was right. It had to be.

The new chief, Dr. Manders, held a morning meeting every Monday with all the senior residents, fellows and attendings. Callie followed a group in and stood against a side wall where she could watch the people coming in, but not be seen herself. At one point her breath caught and she looked down, afraid all of a sudden that she was wrong, she shouldn't be there. She wasn't ready for this.

The meeting ran quick enough, the attendings summarizing their major surgeries and the Chief reminding them about evals and a staff picnic the next week. Too soon, it was her turn. The chief caught her eye and beckoned her out of the crowd. "I'd also like to introduce our new Orthopedics Fellow, Dr. Callie Torres, who is joining us from Seattle." He grinned and patted her on the shoulder, adding to her, "Welcome to University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. I'm sure you will be a great addition to our team."

Callie was sure she thanked him, but she didn't really see him. As soon as she'd stepped forward she saw her, and bit her lip to keep from saying something. Erica was reading a chart, and Callie watched her stiffen and jerk her head up when Dr Manders said her name. Callie couldn't remember ever seeing the heart surgeon so completely stunned.

Callie was briefly distracted as several people came up to greet her, and her attending set up a meeting in fifteen minutes. By the time the room cleared out, Erica had stood up from the table, gathered her charts in her arms and waited, ten feet away, the shock gone completely from her face. As they looked at each other, Callie's nerves came back, and she shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her lab coat. "Hi," she said after another minute passed in silence.

"What are you doing here." It wasn't really a question, and Callie recognized none of her friend, her lover, in her voice. She tried not to let it phase her.

"I… umm… I made a choice, when you left." She paused again, as Erica shifted her weight. "It might not matter anymore, but I choose you."

"Oh." Erica said after a moment, glancing at the door. "Ok."

"Ok," Callie echoed, and watched as Erica walked to the door.

She didn't move when Erica stopped in the doorway, and tried not breathe when Erica visibly drew a deep breath and half turned back towards her. "I suppose we should… get some coffee later. I have surgery until 1, so… 1:30?"

Callie calmed a little at the half smile that was mostly in Erica's eyes. She smiled back, her eyes soft as she met Erica's gaze directly. "1:30."

"Ok."

"Ok."

"Welcome to Pittsburgh, Callie."

Callie grinned widely this time, and looked at her watch. Seven hours to go, and counting.

Good Things Don't Last

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:06:01 GMT

Title: Good Things Don't Last
Author: sammysam
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Callie/Erica
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: There is No 'I' in Team
Archiving: P&P, any where else please ask
Summary: A quick look into Erica's thoughts during There is No 'I' in Team
Author's Note:This was written for ralst's 72-hour challenge last month, after I read the recaps of this episode. I hadn't seen it yet (so please forgive any errors in dialogue from the show), but I didn't particularly like what I read of the ending, and this kept running through my head. I missed the deadline though, and I was in the process of typing this up when I saw the news that Brooke had been fired. Needless to say I was stunned, and almost couldn't finish typing this up, but here it is, as originally written. Thanks to rysler and pdt_bear the beta. Cross-posted at passion_perfect and erica_callie
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and make no money from them. If I did, I would still be watching the show.

It had been a good day. Yeah, she'd woken up alone, but she understood the whole surgeon thing and the whole resident thing, sometimes you got called away early. It would have been nice to wake up with her, but there would be other mornings. Work wasn't bad either, a fairly light day. Only one prescheduled surgery and one emergency, which left her plenty of time to think, and remember the night before.

It wasn't the best sex ever in the history of mankind. It was good, but not great. Erica loved it anyway. It was new; they were new to it. They would learn together. Erica remembered the moment she realized just how attracted she was really was. Just how turned on she was by Callie and Callie's body and Callie… just Callie. Even with all the kissing and the touching leading up to that night, she'd been worried that when it came down to the sex, she wouldn't be able to do it. She'd never been so happy to be wrong. The memories were good.

It was in that mindset that she walked into the x-ray room, suppressing a grin when she saw Callie already standing there. "Hey," she said, sliding her film up onto the light with one hand, the other gently resting on the small of Callie's back.

"Hi," Callie responded, tensing under her hand.

Erica felt her pull away slightly, but ignored it. She'd been waiting to see Callie all morning, and she rambled for a moment before asking if Callie would join her for dinner that night. The last thing she expected was to hear Callie say she hadn't liked it, to say that it hadn't been good for her. Slowly dropping her hand, her face paler than normal as she bit her lip, Erica barely remembered her x-ray film as she walked numbly away. So much for good memories.

***

"Take your pants off."

Erica made it through the day, avoiding Callie as much as she could, which was harder than she'd expected. After her final rounds, she'd gone up to an attendings' on-call room she knew was rarely used for a few minutes of quiet before going home. The last thing she wanted was to be interrupted by anyone. By her.

She turned tired eyes to look behind her. "Excuse me?" She allowed her self to briefly enjoy the sigh of Callie pulling off her scrub top before focusing again on her face. She was human, after all.

Callie tossed the shirt down on the ground. "I said, take your pants off." She took a step forward, coming within arms reach and tucked one finger into Erica's waistband. "We're going to do this."

Erica stepped back, out of the way. She leaned down to pick up the shirt, and handed it back to Callie, who slowly took it from her. "No." She walked to the door, but stopped before opening it. "It wasn't the best sex in the world, Callie. But it was good, because it was you, and it was us. It might have taken some time, but we could've figured it out together." She looked away, down at her fingers, then up again, and took a breath. "I'm sorry it wasn't good for you. I hope whatever you did with Sloan today was better."

Callie's shirt fell from her numb fingers. "Erica…" she whispered.

"Goodbye, Callie."

Missing Keys and Other Things

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:01:37 GMT

Title: Missing Keys and Other Things
Author: sammysam
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Callie/Erica
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: The season finale of Grey's is pretty well spoiled here for any who hasn't seen the ending.
Archiving: P&P, any where else please ask
Summary: A "what happens after the credits roll" continuation of the finale.
Author's Note: I wrote this with the intention of posting it for IDF, but I got busy with a class I was taking and didn't get to typing this up until now. This story was written twice because when I first wrote it I was underway, and then we went underway again and I forgot the pages I wrote it on, so I rewrote it to have a reference for a possible follow-on to this story. I meshed the two fairly well, I think, once I finally sat down to type it up. This is stand-alone, though I may sooner or later get a sequel written. Thanks to rysler and pdt_bear the beta.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and make no money from them. If I did, I wouldn't be doing what I do now.

All Erica wanted was a drink. To go home, crawl into bed with a bottle of rum and maybe some coke and just forget that the past two days had never happened. Was there enough alcohol in the world to burn the image of Yang telling her to shut up from her brain? Maybe not, but the image of Yang burning at the stake got her through the lobby of the hospital and out the door. What had ever possessed her to think that moving to Seattle Grace was a good idea in the first place? She reached into the side pocket of her purse for her keys, and then slowed as she came up empty. “No fucking way,” she muttered, shoving things around as she tried to find them.

“Not now,” she muttered, dropping her bag on the nearest bench and shoving her wallet around more forcefully than probably necessary. She ignored the sound of footsteps behind her, feeling her irritation level rise as her keys were nowhere to be found. She was going to kill someone if she had to go back inside that hospital again before Monday. Erica emptied the bag one item at a time, wondering where the fuck all the crap came from. She felt like screaming as she replaced everything, and felt that the murder of whatever idiot was slowing behind her might just be justified after the day she had.

“Hey, I wanted to see if you wanted to get a drink.”

Callie. Ok, so maybe not an idiot. And she mentioned alcohol. Erica could live with that. Once she found her keys. “I can’t find my keys,” she muttered absently, glaring at her bag as if she expected them to appear in sheer terror. “I had the damn keys this morning, I put them in this bag, but I can’t remember. This whole thing with Yang has got me so messed up.” She poked at her wallet one last time, debating silently the likelihood of not running into anyone on her way back in to search her office.

“Erica!” She jumped at her name, having forgotten that there was someone talking to her. She finally focused on Callie. Her hair looked nice like that, she mused absently.

“What?” And, why was Callie looking at her like that? All… nervous. If she had a fight with Sloan then Erica REALLY didn’t want to hear about that either.

“I’m saying something to you.” Erica watched her, eyes a little wide as Callie repeated, “Just, I wanted to say… I just wanted to say…” Callie was stepping closer, and then it didn’t matter what she was trying to say as Callie took her face in her hands and kissed her.

All thoughts of alcohol vanished the moment Callie’s lips touched hers. It wasn’t a deep kiss, full of passion and lust. It was soft, and Callie tasted like her lip gloss, chocolate and coffee. For the first time in a week Erica allowed herself to remember her brief kiss in the elevator--- that spur of the moment, fed up with Sloan and his attitude, kiss. The one she hadn’t expected to set her lips tingling, a feeling she’d quickly forced down on her way home. Callie caressed her cheek, much as she herself had done a week earlier, and Erica almost whimpered at the look in her eyes when she pulled back.

Callie smiled and kissed her again. It was wonderful. Erica brought a hand up and tangled it in her dark, silky hair as she kissed back, her other hand wrapping around her back and pulling her tight against her. She was so soft, where their bodies were pressed together, and Callie wasn’t still either, her hands pressing against her hips before sliding around to rest on her lower back.

Neither woman noticed the people walking past, people who were in shock at what they were witnessing (or rather, who), people who come Monday would have the best gossip to share since George slept with Izzie. Erica didn’t know, didn’t think about it, didn’t care about anything but the softness of Callie’s lips and the smell of her perfume and the feel of her skin.

When Callie’s hand slid between them and inside her coat to press against her side just below her breast, Erica managed to pull away. Callie moaned softly in disappointment as the kiss broke, though they remained pressed against each other. They looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment, before Erica blurted out in a rush, “Why are you doing this?” She regretted the question as soon as she saw the embarrassment, the hurt flash over Callie’s face, and felt her start to pull away.

Erica tightened her arms and wouldn’t let her run away, not yet. “Don’t… I just… Since Addison was here, you’ve had that thing with Sloan, and…”

“You’re all I think about,” Callie interrupted. “Since that first night we went for drinks and we hit it off. That never happens, with anyone. You are the one person constantly on my mind, and I didn’t even realize it until Addison said… what she said, and then I started to think about it and freaked out and tried to ignore it with him, but I think about you when he’s there and then you kissed me the other day and I thought maybe you were thinking about it too…”

Callie was rambling. Erica had never had patience for people who rambled, but it was somehow adorable in Callie. But, in rambling, Callie had looked away and so Erica kissed her to get her to stop talking. It was quick, but effective, and when she pulled back she traced her thumb over Callie’s lower lip and said simply, “Come home with me.”

Callie looked at her in dumbfounded surprise, saying only, “huh?”

“We need to talk, and I’m not going to do this with Yang eavesdropping from the next room or here in front of the hospital for the enjoyment of the night nurses, so, come home with me.” She glanced up at the hospital, then to the side, her brow crinkling. “I can’t find my keys,” she repeated from that long ago conversation. She dropped her arms from around Callie and half turned away, picking up her bag. “I don’t know where they could be,” she muttered absently.

Callie grinned and pressed herself tight against her side, sliding one hand inside Erica’s coat pocket. Slowly drawing it out again, she enjoyed the startled expression on Erica’s face as she watched, wide-eyed. “These keys?” she laughed, holding them up dangling and jingling between them.

Erica blushed, but took them from her. “Yeah.” She stepped away, looked down at her hands for a moment, then held out her empty one. Callie slid her hand into hers and intertwined their fingers. It was nice, holding her hand, and she surreptitiously tightened her grip briefly. Callie glanced at her, a small smile on her face and squeezed back. It felt nice, holding someone’s hand. Callie’s hand. Better than nice.

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 19:10:36 GMT

Title: Sunday Matinee
Author: sammysam
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Julia/Kendra.
Summary: Somehow this was not how she imagined being naked in bed with her co-star was supposed to go.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these people. Sadly.
Notes: I started this story back in March based on a challenge from pdt_bear to have a Julia/Kendra fic using these words: fast, ice cream, and mellow. It was never intended to be a long story (10 pages!), but it took so long to use all three words, that this is what came out of it. So, after four months and a mini-panic attack two weeks ago when my computer decided to summarily delete the entire document... I bring you "Sunday Matinee." Many thanks go to pdt_bear for the idea, rysler for helping me end this thing, and the two of them and katrin and michanna for the beta.

The stage door seemed to take forever on this particular Saturday night. Normally, Julia didn't mind meeting the fans (although their obsessiveness at times could be unnerving), but she was so tired and it was highly probable that she was hallucinating that steak she could smell. Every time she decided that this would be the last fan of the night, there was a cute little girl with an adorably misspelled card or a teenager blushing as she said, "you were amazing." So, she signed autographs and posed for pictures until there was no one left.

By the time she reached her apartment, all she wanted was to collapse on the bed and wakeup sometime next century. She forced herself to feed her fish and get undressed before falling into bed. She barely remembered to turn on her alarm clock before consciousness escaped her.

**

It was not her alarm clock that woke Julia the next morning. It was a high pitched, lilting voice singing, "Wake up, Julia, time to start your day." She groaned and, without opening her eyes, flung out her hand and smacked her alarm clock, annoyed that it wasn't on the right station. The sound of giggling not coming from her alarm clock finally set in and she sat up with a gasp. Her blankets fell into her lap and she grabbed for the black satin sheet to cover her naked breasts.

"Kendra! What the hell!"

Her blonde co-star was leaning against her dresser, laughing. "You missed one," she managed to get out, pointing.

Grumbling, Julia re-wrapped the sheet around herself and repeated, "What the hell are you doing here?" One hand was busy ensuring her covers stayed in place, while the other attempted to push her hair off her face.

Kendra dropped onto the bed beside her and looked at her. "We were going to go get lunch before the matinee, remember? When you didn't call by 10:30, I came over."

"Did you break into my apartment?" Am I dreaming? Julia thought. She sure hoped so. She'd willingly admit to daydreaming about Kendra in her bed, but somehow this was not how she imagined being naked in bed with her co-star was supposed to go.

"Now I know you aren't awake yet. We swapped keys when I came back after Company. You said I could come over whenever." Kendra tugged playfully on the sheet over Julia's thigh. "It's getting late though, how about we plan on dinner after the show and go get ice cream now?"

Julia tried to check the time, but she'd slammed her alarm clock face down moments before and couldn't see the numbers. She leaned over to right it and squealed when something poked her in the butt. "Jesus, Kendra, are you high?" she screeched, leaping out of bed and grabbing for her bathrobe. Slipping into that, she pulled some clothes out of her dresser and walked into her bathroom.

“What time is it?” she yelled through the closed door, before splashing water on her face.

“11:23. Want coffee?”

“Mango juice? There is some in the fridge,” she replied, wincing at her reflection. For the eleven hours she’d apparently slept, she looked like a zombie. A very skeletal zombie. The green would be needed today… any other makeup wouldn’t hide the bruises under her eyes. She wondered briefly if this was what Kendra had been laughing at, then decided that it probably wasn’t. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and was doing up her pants by the time Kendra knocked on the door.

Opening the door, she accepted the glass held out to her and attempted to drink and brush her hair at the same time while walking out to the living room. Following her, Kendra rolled her eyes as Julia nearly spilled the drink as she pulled her at her hair.

“You going to be awake for the show today?” Kendra asked seriously, plucking the hairbrush out of Julia’s hand. “I’ll do that, you drink.” She pressed Julia into a chair. “We don’t have time for you to shower.”

Julia sat, meekly finishing her juice and trying not to enjoy the hair-brushing too much. As it was, she nearly fell asleep in the three minutes she sat there. When Kendra was done, she wrapped her arms around her shoulders from behind and murmured in her ear, “Are you sure you’re ok?”

Reaching up and gripping Kendra’s arm, Julia turned her head to look at her. “I’m just tired. I’ll be fine when I wake up some more.” Kendra didn’t look convinced as she added, “I promise.”

**

Ten minutes later they were walking down Eighth Ave towards a particular Coldstone that Kendra was a fan of. Julia wasn’t one for eating ice cream for lunch usually, but today she figured the cold and the sugar would help wake her up. When Kendra stole a bite, she didn’t even complain like she would have otherwise.

“I can’t believe you got cinnamon ice cream and Reese’s,” Kendra said, licking her lips.

Julia shrugged as she smiled and took another lick. Kendra kept eyeing her as they walked, looking away whenever Julia caught her at it. As they neared the stage door to the Gershwin, Julia, sufficiently awake now from the combination of sugar and car horns, asked, “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Kendra pushed her hair back behind her ear, but not before Julia saw a hint of pink on her cheeks. The cold, she decided, and ignored it.

“I dunno… like that,” she said, unhelpfully.

Kendra shrugged, eating the last of her sweet. “You just seem… really mellow for just having woken up. On tour, you needed like three hours and caffeine to not be a bear before matinees.”

Julia laughed, but didn’t disagree. “And you’re complaining that for once I’m in a good mood? Given what happened after I woke up, I should be grumpy at you,” she claimed, mock glaring at her. Moving her ice cream (she was always a slow eater of desserts) to her other hand, she slid her arm through Kendra’s as they walked through the stage door. Waving her cone at the security guard, she tugged the other woman down the hall to her dressing room. Dropping onto her couch, she pulled her Elphabear into her lap and held up the ice cream in offering. “Want a last bite? I’m almost done.”

Kendra was still standing in front of her, staring at her intently. Their gazes locked as she took the offering and nibbled at it. Julia clung to her teddy bear, feeling suddenly trapped by the intensity of Kendra’s gaze. When Kendra suddenly moved forward, kneeling on the couch straddling her, she leaned back slightly, unnerved.

She could see in her peripheral vision Kendra take a last bite, then felt her press the last remaining bit against her own lips. Opening her mouth slightly she allowed Kendra to feed it to her, fully conscious that Kendra left her fingers pressed against her lips. She swallowed quickly and ran her tongue over her teeth. Kendra was now tracing her lips with her fingers and she was terrified to move. Or speak. Or breathe.

Kendra settled herself on Julia’s legs and moved her fingers to her cheek, and suddenly Julia could breathe again.

Kendra had always been physically demonstrative with her, from the moment she’d joined the tour. The first song they’d rehearsed together had been “Popular,” and Julia still couldn’t remember how she’d managed to get her few lines out with Kendra bouncing around and sticking her bum in her face and pressing against her and pulling her around. She’d seen Wicked on Broadway when Idina, who she’d been friends with for years, and Kristin had headlined it. Though Kristin had been close with Idina, she’d never, to her recollection, manhandled her co-star to the degree that Kendra did. Julia had watched Kendra and Stephanie together in those first days she was rehearsing, but she couldn’t remember their interactions.

So, Kendra sitting in her lap wasn’t really anything new. She’d done it before, just plopped herself down if Julia was talking to someone, used her as a chair if she was sitting on the ground. But never alone. Never like this. Kendra’s hand was now in her hair, fingers combing through as her face seemed to be getting closer. The touch of Kendra’s lips to hers still surprised her, and she didn’t respond. Kendra pulled back slightly as Julia closed her eyes and pressed forward.

Their lips met again as Kendra pressed her back against the couch and cupped her cheek. Julia wrapped her arms around her waist as the kiss deepened, pulling her tightly against her. Kendra’s tongue had just snuck in when all of a sudden they could hear, muffled, “Good news! She’s dead!” They pulled apart, looking down at the stuffed bear that had been squashed between them, and then looked again at each other. Kendra moved the bear delicately to the side and they ignored it as it continued playing. Kendra kissed her again, slowly, then pulled away and was out the door before Julia could put her arms down.

She stared at her knees where Kendra had been for several minutes, trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened. Voices out in the hallway woke her out of her stupor and she looked at the clock on her wall. She had just under an hour before the show started. Standing, she went through the mundane actions of taking off her coat and hanging it up, stowing away her purse, and adding more candy to her candy bowl. She avoided looking in the mirror as she passed it, trying to find something to occupy herself with until Jimmy came in to do her makeup.

Another few minutes standing around doing nothing later, she huffed and walked out her door. Determined, she walked the few feet to Kendra’s door and opened it. Or, she tried to, anyway. The knob wouldn’t turn, and she stared dumbly at it. Kendra never locked her door, ever. Yeah, she’d shut it, but it was never locked, not to Julia. She tried it one more time, thinking that maybe it was stuck, but it wouldn’t turn. She thought about knocking, but had no idea what she would say, so she walked dejectedly back to her room.

**

By the time Jimmy showed up, Julia was as stretched out as she was going to get and freaking out inside her mind. By now she knew Kendra’s door would be open, and she thought she could hear her, but she didn’t know what she could say to her, so she stayed in her room getting ready as much as she could on her own. She ran through her vocal warm-up, doing scales and singing random bits of songs as they popped into her head. She was singing “I’m Not That Girl” when Jimmy arrived, and she obediently stripped off her shirt and sat down in the makeup chair with the green skin suit bunched around her waist.

Makeup was applied, wig put on, people came and went, but no Kendra, who had never missed a chat before a show. Jimmy was working on an ear when, in the mirror, she finally saw her walk past her door without so much as a glance in. Frowning sadly, her shoulders sagged a little as she stared down at her hands. Jimmy moved around and was brushing green on her neck when hands coming to rest on her shoulder made her look up. There was Kendra, standing behind her with her hands resting lightly on the non-green portion of her skin, and Julia had to fight not to cry. Neither said anything, though Kendra did nod in response to Jimmy’s greeting. Their eyes met in the mirror and they stared at each other for a moment before Kendra squeezed her shoulders and left.

Jimmy wiped off the last of the setting powder and Chris tucked a few last stray hairs in before she got up to get into costume. “That was odd,” Jimmy commented as he moved out of Cathy’s way. “Is something wrong with her?”

Julia shoved her arms into her costume and held her braid out of the way. “Not that I know of. Maybe she just has something on her mind.” She fought the urge to lick her lips to see if she could still taste Kendra. The only thing stopping her was not wanting to actually have something in her teeth.

**

The show went fine, the only sign, if it even was a sign, Kendra gave of what happened earlier was in “Popular,” as all things seemed to happen in that song. Instead of bouncing between the beds after “Fiyero and I are going to be married,” she grabbed the Elphie hat from the bed, tugged it onto Julia’s head, and then tackled her back onto the bed. Julia flung out her arm to grab the bed, but was unable to keep herself from rolling off the bed, taking Kendra with her. They ended up with Julia collapsed on top of Kendra, who was grinning up at her cheekily from the stage floor. She could hear the laughter from the audience, and she didn’t want to know what was going on in the wings.

She scrambled up and pulled Kendra to her feet, glaring at her. Kendra just giggled, so Julia growled lowly and set the hat on the blonde instead. She finally got out her next line, and Kendra wore the hat for the rest of the scene.

**

Intermission came and went in no time. The second act came to a close with real tears from Kendra after “For Good” (she’d known her long enough to tell the difference). As they left the stage after the final curtain call, Julia pulled Kendra back from the others. “Don’t go to stage door without me, ok?” Kendra nodded, and she let her go.

Julia took her time getting the green off, laughing to herself over the latest sign on her door and not letting herself think about Kendra. Three days after her Broadway.com interview had premiered, she’d arrived at the theatre to find a life-size porn photo taped onto her door with the words “This is R-Rated” on a sign strategically covering certain areas. There was a new item nearly every day, and always funny. Today was no exception, and involved the Care Bears and one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So wrong… but so funny.

Her dressing room was empty when she got out of the shower, so she grabbed her clothes and went back into the bathroom to clean out her ears. A few minutes later she walked back out to grab a hair brush and found Kendra sitting on her couch. Conscious of the fact that she hadn’t yet put on her shirt, she nonchalantly picked up the brush, said “hi,” and disappeared again. A few minutes later, she was ready to go, and after donning her coat and making sure everything she needed was in her bag, they left.

Despite the weather and the wait, there was still a large crowd shivering outside the stage door, and Kendra turned on the cheeriness as Julia tried not to be scary. The crowd thinned pretty fast, as they were the last cast members to leave for the day. Julia took her time, half-watching Kendra as she chatted to fans and posed for pictures. As they neared the end, she could hear a little girl ask “Glinda” if she was ever actually scared of the Witch because she was green? Kendra glanced over at her and smiled as she answered that she’d never been scared of her friend, and that she thought her green friend was beautiful.

A few fans stuck around, and they did a couple pictures with both of them in it, and then that was it. They walked along 8th Ave as they debated where to eat, then hopped onto the subway.

**

They ended up at a small Mexican place near Central Park, one they’d been to before that had fantastic salsa. They placed their orders, and Kendra kept up the chatter on her plans for their day off and some shopping she needed to get done, and how she wanted to go see The Pirate Queen for Steph sometime after it opened. Julia made appropriate noises here and there, all the while getting more and more frustrated that Kendra was avoiding talking about what clearly was the most important event of the day. Julia could have been anyone else and the conversation would have been the same.

Kendra was contemplating getting her hair cut when Julia finally lost control and blurted out, annoyed, “Well, are you ever going to talk about it?”

Kendra giggled, “Jules, I’ve been talking for the past twenty minutes.”

“No, you haven’t!” She knew that was moronic but she didn’t care. “I don’t care about Stephanie or your hair or your groceries. Do you even remember kissing me in my dressing room, or were you just planning your next shopping trip?”

Kendra went pale and reached across the table and covered Julia’s hand that was clenched around her glass. “Julia, I…”

Julia yanked her hand back. “You can’t do that. You can’t just kiss me and lock your door and refuse to speak to me the entire show. It happened.” She paused to take a breath and grab her bag, standing as Kendra opened her mouth to speak.

“I get it; you are embarrassed to have kissed me. You don’t want to talk about it. You regret it. Fine. Then you shouldn’t have kissed me in the first place.” She turned and stormed out of the restaurant, just as the waiter approached with their dinner. Kendra sat, momentarily stunned, then raced after her. She left her things at the table and got outside in time to see Julia get into a cab.

“Julia!” she yelled out, knowing it was hopeless. The other woman didn’t even look up, and Kendra stared after the cab as it turned two blocks down the road. She walked back into the restaurant and silently left money on the table, picked up her purse and coat, and left. Sitting in the cab, she stared at her cell-phone, her thumb on the dial.

**

By the time Julia got back to her apartment, she was regretting having yelled at Kendra. Yeah, she meant what she’d said, but she hadn’t meant to actually express it in quite that fashion. She settled herself on the couch to watch the latest episode of CSI that she’d taped, deciding that going hungry for a while longer was a fitting punishment. She let herself be amused by Liev Schreiber’s character for half the episode before her thoughts drifted back to Kendra. And kissing Kendra. And enjoying the feel of Kendra’s weight on her. She hated that damned bear right then, because if it hadn’t started playing, maybe the kiss would have continued, and maybe Kendra wouldn’t have run off so fast.

After glancing at the screen and guessing who the suspect was before the cops did, Julia called in an order to a nearby Chinese place for dumplings, Kung Pao shrimp and chicken fried rice. She glared hard at the wall when they told her it would be another hour, and contemplated getting green again to scare them off when they showed up. Hanging up, she stalked over to the window and stared out at the lights of the city. After a few minutes of that, she went back to the couch and stared at the wall again. She finally turned the TV back on and attempted to pay attention to Dateline NBC.

After an eternity, her intercom rang and she buzzed the delivery guy up. When she heard the knock, she grabbed money and went to the door, tripping over her shoes on the way. As she took the food, she was not all together unsurprised to see Kendra sitting against the wall opposite her door, looking down at her hands. Julia said nothing, but left her door open halfway, deciding that she would close it in five minutes if Kendra didn’t come in.

She set the bag down on the counter and took down two plates, spooning food onto one of them. She heard the faint click of her door closing, and she silently passed Kendra in the doorway to the kitchen as she carried her plate and the dumplings out to the living room. Kendra came out a few minutes later and set down her plate, then disappeared back into the kitchen. She emerged with two glasses of wine and held one out to Julia, who took it carefully. Julia hoarded the dumplings, and they ate silently. At one point, Julia turned off the TV, giving up all pretense of watching, and downed the rest of her wine.

Kendra’s plate was still half full, but she took it from her anyway and carried it and her wine glass into the kitchen. She did not want to go back out there, and hoped desperately that she could stay in the kitchen long enough for the world around her to just disappear. Facing Kendra was the absolute last thing she wanted to do, especially when kissing her was all she wanted to do. How the hell had that happened, anyway? She poured more wine and stared at the label on the bottle, hoping that memorizing the Australian Shiraz label would solve all of her problems. Not that alcohol had ever solved anything for her before, but there was a first time for everything.

Julia heard the footsteps coming into the room before she felt the hands rest on her waist. “What are you doing?” she asked softly.

“What I want.” The hands slid around until they rested on her belly, and Kendra was pressed against her back.

“What if I don’t want this.” It wasn’t really a question.

Kendra laid her head against Julia’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I ran off.”

“Why are you doing this now?”

“Because I didn’t do it the first time I saw you. You were so much larger than life.” Kendra sighed, and Julia could feel her breath against her neck.

“And now?” One of Kendra’s fingers was caressing her lightly through her shirt and it was getting harder for Julia to focus on the fact that she was still mad.

Kendra didn’t respond, and Julia tensed up, trying to pull away. She was trapped though, between Kendra and the counter, and one part of her enjoyed the feeling of Kendra flush against her. She forced that thought away and turned to face her. It was disconcerting once again just how close she was to the other woman, felt so much more now that they were face to face. Julia brought one hand up to rest lightly on Kendra’s shoulder, pushing her gently back.

“Julia…” Kendra whispered.

Julia looked down at her feet, anywhere but at Kendra’s eyes, which were filling with tears. “Just… Just because I want to kiss you again is not the reason to do this. I don’t get involved with people I work with, not anymore.” She said the last quietly, before looking back up. She moved out of Kendra’s arms, not sure certain where she was headed, but not wanting to be tempted by Kendra’s eyes.

She felt like a coward, but she disappeared into her room and shut the door, throwing herself onto the bed and burying her face in her pillow.

**

Kendra had a vague sense of déjà vu, being alone in Julia’s apartment with Julia shut away in her room. Was it only this morning that they’d been laughing on the way to work? She took a sip of the wine from the glass Julia had left on the counter, then poured the rest down the sink. The last thing she needed now was for Julia to think she was drunk. Where had everything gone so wrong?

Taking a deep breath, she traced Julia’s steps to her door, and knocked lightly on the door. There was no answer, but she opened the door anyway. From the light coming in through the window, she could see Julia lying on her stomach, facing away from her. She quietly toed off her shoes and crossed the room, sitting on the edge on the bed. She looked at her friend, not really knowing what to say. She wanted to apologize, again, but the last one had been brushed aside. She wanted to lie down beside her, but she was frozen in fear of another rejection. Why did Julia have to be so damned stubborn?

Pursing her lips in frustration, she lay down next to Julia, close enough that their shoulders touched as she stared up at the ceiling. Julia didn’t move away from her, and that gave her hope. “Jules… I’m sorry I left.” There was no reaction from the body beside her, and Kendra sighed.

Pursing her lips in frustration, she lay down next to Julia, close enough that their shoulders touched as she stared up at the ceiling. Julia didn’t move away from her, and that gave her hope. “Julia… I’m sorry.” There was still no reaction from the body beside her, and Kendra sighed. “I didn’t regret kissing you, I just didn’t want to be there when you told me you didn’t want it to happen. Again. Whatever.”

Kendra really wasn’t expecting a response; for all she knew, Julia had fallen asleep already. She could fall asleep anywhere, at anytime, as Kendra had jealously learned over several tour-related plane rides. So it was a bit of a surprise when she heard, “Whatever gave you the impression that I would do that? And if you thought that, then again, why did you kiss me in the first place?” Julia’s voice was flat, emotionless, and Kendra didn’t like that at all.

She rolled over and wrapped her arm around Julia’s waist, feeling more than hearing her breath catch as she settled against her. She pressed her lips against Julia’s shoulder briefly before she said, carefully, “I’m not leaving.”

Julia didn’t move, and after some time, Kendra fell asleep where she was, fully dressed and pressed against her.

**

Kendra woke up alone the next morning, blearily remembering where she was and why. She rolled over onto her back and sighed, before getting out of bed, haphazardly fixing the blankets on her way to the bathroom. She borrowed toothpaste, finger-brushed her teeth, and ran a comb through her hair, trying to put off actually leaving the bathroom. In the light of the new morning, she didn’t know if she could face Julia now, and contemplated a way of sneaking out without the other woman noticing. It was impossible, and Julia might never forgive her, but her pride was such that she didn’t know if she’d survive another moment with Julia.

Julia was sitting on the bed, leaning back on her hands and looking at her, when she left the bathroom. She had changed clothes, wearing now a pair of worn-in jeans and a long sleeved shirt with a low-cut neckline. Kendra tried not to stare, forcing herself to meet Julia’s even gaze and ignore the enticing picture she made.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to wake up,” Julia said mildly, her tone even and her gaze unwavering.

Kendra twisted her fingers in the edge of her shirt before clasping her hands together. “I didn’t think you got up this early on your day off.” It was 9:30, according to the small clock she’d found by the sink.

“Yeah well… Things to do.” Julia tilted her head, watching her fidget. “You want breakfast?”

Kendra wanted to run. She wanted to take back the previous day (or at least, keep the kissing and take back everything else). She wanted to crawl back into bed with Julia and just be with her. “I should go.”

“Hair appointment?”

Kendra gave a slight smile and shrugged, “Or something.”

“Ok.”

She turned to leave, and made it all the way to the bedroom door, aware that Julia was watching her. At the door, she bit her lip and turned around. Julia watched with those same emotionless eyes as she walked back to the bed, not closing them even as Kendra kissed her softly. She pulled back until she could meet her gaze squarely. “I kissed you because I wanted to. I left because I’m a coward.” She brushed her lips against Julia’s one last time, whispered “Call me,” and left.

She didn’t mean to, but as she left the room, she glanced back at the bed. Julia was still looking at her, but this time with a faint smirk on her face. It was going to be ok.

x-posted at thewitches3

One Night in July, PG

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 23:59:10 GMT

Title: One Night in July
Author: sammysam
Rating: PG
Fandom: Wicked RPFS
Pairing: Julia/Eden
Summery: Julia had been surprised that Eden was willing to give up one night of sex for a book.
AN: This was beta'd by rysler, katrin, and michanna. The idea came to me yesterday and wouldn't leave me alone, so here you go :)

It was nearly 2am when Julia suddenly woke up, blinking blearily at the clock across the bed. Closing her eyes once more with a soft groan, she moved across the bed only to open her eyes once more at the realization that no one was there. The sheets were cold, and there was no sign that anyone had been there at all.

She crawled out of bed, rubbing at her eyes, and grumbling to herself. Out in the hallway, she could see light from the living room and she followed that. Eden was sitting lengthwise on the couch, the table lamp on, completely engrossed in some book. Julia's tired brain did vaguely remember Eden saying something about how she would be home later than Julia that night because she had to go buy a book at midnight, but beyond that, there was nothing. Julia had been surprised that Eden was willing to give up one night of sex for a book when they only had four nights together before she had to leave again for LA, but she'd been rushing out the door to the Gerswhin and didn't really have a chance to argue the point. And thus, she'd woken up alone.

Julia made her way to the couch, stumbling slightly on the carpet, and brushed her hand over Eden's hair.

"Hey Jules," Eden said, distracted as she turned a page.

"Come to bed, it's late," Julia mumbled, tugging ineffectually on Eden's shoulder.

"I'm reading," was the only response, though Eden did shift around a little on the couch, resettling the book on her stomach and turning another page.

"I don't want to sleep without you." It was a simple statement, no whining in her voice, and Eden looked up at her.

She spread her legs further apart on the couch and shifted around so that that she reclining a bit more. "Stay out here? Until I'm done?" She reached up with one hand and covered Julia's fingers with her own.

Julia settled herself on her couch between Eden's legs, one arm wrappped around her and her face pillowed softly on her stomach. She closed her eyes with a sigh, the fingers of her other hand playing lightly with the hem of Eden's t-shirt. After a moment, she felt Eden lower the book to rest lightly against her head, blocking most of the light from the lamp. After the next quiet page turn, she asked against Eden's belly, "How much you got left?"

Eden laughed quietly, reaching around the book to caress her neck. "About 450 pages or so. Go back to sleep."

Julia did just that, and was still mostly asleep a few hours later when Eden brushed her hair back and rubbed her back. She hid her face in Eden's shirt and mumbled incoherently.

"Come on love, lets go to bed," she heard Eden say from somewhere above her. Her warm pillow moved and she opened her eyes to darkness. Sitting up, she nearly closed her eyes again as she leaned back against the couch, not moving when Eden tugged on her hand.

"Go 'way," Julia mumbled, pulling her hand back. A warm body leaned over her and her head fell forward to rest on Eden's shoulder.

"Come on," Julia heard again, and this time she let Eden help her up and guide her into the bedroom.

Eyes closed, Julia fell onto the bed and immediately wrapped her arms around her pillow, falling back into sleep quickly. When the bed shifted a few minutes later, she rolled over and curled herself around Eden, who smiled and closed her eyes. Julia shifted against her, and muttered sleepily against her neck, "D'you finish?"

Eden giggled and looked down at her affectionately. "Yeah."

"Have to be up a' nine."

"Ok."

After the Oz Dust, Wicked, Gelphie, 3/?

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:16:30 GMT

Title: After the Oz Dust (3/?)
Author: sammysam
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Wicked
Pairing: Galinda/Elphaba
Summery: What should have happened after the Oz Dust
AN: This was kindly beta'd by joran, katrin and myth_moondancer. This fic is sort of a mix of bookverse and musicalverse. Just worked out well that way, there are bits and pieces pulled from each, but Galinda and Elphaba are more their musical characters than the book ones.
Disclaimer: Characters and places belong to Gregory Maguire, musical references to Steven Schwartz and Winnie Holtzman.
Cross-Posted: wicked_fanfic and gelphie_lovers

It was a few days before Galinda was able to look more closely at the book she’d purchased. She had it hidden in her closet, and Elphaba never asked her about it. She waited to investigate it further on a day when she knew Elphaba would be late. From time to time, she did sneak a peek at the images that had so enthralled her in the bookshop. Galinda realized almost immediately why the shopkeeper had called the book “scandalous” when the author, who claimed to have known both the Kumbric Witch and Saint Glinda, said that he was writing the story of two lovers torn apart. It was, he claimed, the “story no one ever told, about the two women who’d been pulled from each other by outsiders who didn’t understand them, leading one to hide from the world and the other to set up an orphanage for the children whom, like her lover, had been abandoned by it.” He claimed to have gotten the story straight from St. Glinda herself, four hundred years earlier, though she died before it had been published, so he was aware that many would doubt its truthfulness.

She was so caught up in the tale that she almost missed the sound of Elphaba’s boots in the hallway, but she managed to shove the book under her petticoats and shut the door before she came in. Elphaba looked at her oddly as she came in, and she knew she was flushed and her heart was racing, as much because of what she’d been reading (he’d been describing the first time the women had become lovers) as from her rush to the closet.

Later that night, it took her a long time to fall asleep as she couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d read. She supposed that she’d known that kissing preceded becoming lovers, but she’d never considered sex with a woman before. She’d heard of it, yes, in gossip her mother shared with her friends back home, and from tales people told of the Philosophy Club. Was that where she and Elphaba were headed? Did she want that? It would mean no marriage or children, the things she’d been raised to expect, didn’t it? She couldn’t imagine wanting to kiss anyone other than Elphaba, much less anything else. She’d been kissed before, by boys in Gilliken, but she’d never really felt anything, and it was so exciting to be pressed against Elphaba that way. And she’d never gone any further than kissing them, though she was one of the few.

But she had never been interested in girls before, either. Turning over in her bed, she stared at her roommate. All she could see was her hair across her pillow, as she was sprawled on her stomach facing away from her. She was struck by the sudden, powerful urge to go lie down beside her, curl up against her and sleep with her head on her breast. It was an urge so powerful that she had to clench her fists in her blankets to not crawl out of bed. Then, she had a terrifying thought: what if Elphie didn’t want to be her lover? Galinda didn’t sleep well that night.

**

Elphaba was aware of Galinda’s distraction that week, and she caught her looking at her at the oddest times, a curious expression on her face. She said nothing though, and pretended to be studying in the evenings while Galinda read the same issue of Ozmopolitan over and over again at the other end of the bed. Hidden in the pages of her science text was the book she’d brought the other day, the one Elphaba had blushed over when Master Tricket had seen it. It was one of those romantic fiction ones, like what Galinda read on occasion and Pfanee swore by. She’d hoped that reading it would help her figure out what was going on, but instead it gave her more to think about.

Because of her green skin, Elphaba had always figured that the whole notion of love and romance was something she’d never have to think about. Nessa had told her many times that in her future spinsterhood, she should plan on leaving her inheritance in Nessa’s hands since she’d never have children to pass anything onto. Her sister’s words had been harsh, but true, since Elphaba couldn’t imagine anyone wanting green children. Their parents had never been able to look past it, and she knew her father was leaving more money to her sister because she was pretty and could carry on the family line, for all she couldn’t walk. She would have use of the money.

But what of this new factor in her life? Was this thing with Galinda a romance, and did she want it to be? She’d read that book twice now, hoping it would help her understand, but really it was no help. She was no male, so the vivid descriptions of sex weren’t very useful, and she couldn’t imagine barging in one day, throwing Galinda over her shoulder and carting her off to an abandoned castle to “ravish her.” She supposed she could try courting her, she’d read of that and watched it enough at the start of school, as every boy it seemed came after her roommate. It also seemed like Galinda might have been doing that to her, so maybe that was the way to go.

She looked over the top of her books at Galinda just as she heard a page turn, but she didn’t see any paper move in the magazine. There was something her roommate was hiding from her, she’d known that for the past week, but she didn’t bother her about it. They were allowed their secrets. Not that her secret kept her from kissing Elphaba whenever she wanted. From past experience, the green girl knew that as soon as she got up and went into the bathing area, Galinda would scurry to her closet and hide that book somewhere in there, and be back on her bed when she returned. When they kissed, Elphaba had the feeling that Galinda was trying to figure something out, but she enjoyed it just the same.

This evening, she just carried her books to her desk and fiddled with stuff there for a few minutes. A glance at the window showed her roommate watching her, so she made a show of looking through a folder. After a moment, Galinda disappeared into her closet briefly, then came out and put her magazine on her bookshelf. Elphaba tensed briefly when arms slid around her waist from behind, and then relaxed as she turned to face Galinda. They just looked at each other, smiling slightly, then Elphaba looked down for a second, then back again. “Go for a walk with me?”

They found themselves strolling by the stream. The sun was down, and the night was clear and cool. They’d worn cloaks, and Elphaba had taken Galinda’s arm once they left Crage Hall. They didn’t talk much, each lost in their own thoughts, but it was a pleasant walk. They stopped at a large tree on the banks, and Elphaba sat on the grass against the trunk, and almost disappeared in the darkness. She still held Galinda’s hand and she tugged her down. She wasn’t expecting her to turn and sit facing away from her, but she just spread her legs as much as she was able and wrapped her arms around her waist. Galinda settled back against her and set her hands over the green ones resting over the belly.

They sat like that quietly for awhile, enjoying and absorbing each other’s presence. Elphaba liked the weight of Galinda against her, and she tightened her arms slightly and felt Galinda sigh and relax more. She considered bringing up her questions, not realizing that Galinda was thinking the same thing.

**

It was very dark out, and pretty, with the stars forming pictures in the sky. Galinda had turned in her arms to sit sideways against her, nuzzling into her neck. It took very little effort on Elphaba’s part to press a kiss to Galinda’s forehead, and she let her lips linger there. “Galinda?” she murmured quietly.

“Yes?” She felt the word spoken against her neck more than she heard it.

“Will you go to dinner with me tomorrow night?”

Galinda looked up at her, but couldn’t make out her features in the dark, so she settled back against her shoulder. “I’d love to. Where did you want to go?”

“It’ll be a surprise. Is that ok?” she added, uncertainly.

“It’s wonderful,” Galinda sighed. Nosing into the side of Elphaba’s neck, she traced her tongue across the other girl’s skin. She felt Elphaba’s shiver and did it again, sitting up further so that she could reach her ear. After tracing her ear with her tongue, she suckled lightly on her earlobe, and the other girl couldn’t contain a low moan. Elphaba turned her head quickly and caught her lips with her own. Galinda shifted in her lap to face her more fully. Elphaba was pressed against the tree as Galinda assaulted her mouth with enthusiasm. She slid her hands inside Galinda’s cloak and pressed them into her sides. In the back of her mind she remembered how it felt when Galinda had touched her there. It had felt strange, but also good. She had just been startled by the feelings coursing through her. They’d been the same feelings she had when kissing Galinda, but so much stronger.

She slowly moved her hands down until they were cupping lightly around Galinda’s bottom. Galinda squeaked as she felt the pressure pulling her closer and bit down on Elphaba’s bottom lip. Elphaba’s hands tightened as she pulled back with a yelp, and Galinda could feel her fingers as though she was wearing nothing. She fell forward and pressed her cheek against her roommates, breathing heavily against her hair. She turned her head slightly until she could rub her nose against Elphaba’s and whispered against her mouth, “We really need to talk.”

Her own hands had been busy, too. She’d tangled one hand in Elphaba’s hair at the base of her neck, and the other had been playing with the buttons on the back of her dress. She’d opened a few of them and slid her fingers over Elphaba’s skin. They kissed for awhile longer, not as fervently as before, giving each other and themselves an opportunity to calm down.

**

Later that night, Galinda again had trouble falling asleep, tossing and turning until finally she lay on her side and could see her roommate. Elphaba was lying on her back, and the moonlight coming in through the window glinted off her hair. Watching Elphaba’s chest move up and down slowly with each breath, she once again felt the urge to urge to join her in bed, and this night she didn’t fight it. Climbing out of bed, she carried her blanket with her and carefully spread it over the thin blanket covering the other girl. She waited to see if she’d woken her, but Elphaba didn’t move. Biting her lip in concentration, she carefully lifted the two blankets and climbed into bed next to her. Keeping her eyes on Elphaba’s face, Galinda lay down beside her and curled up against her with her head on her shoulder.

As soon as she touched her, Elphaba jolted awake. “What…?” she gasped, confused. She tried to sit up, but Galinda wrapped her arm around her waist and settled down.

“Shh… It’s just me, Elphie,” she said sleepily. The warmth from her roommate’s body soaked into her and she relaxed and closed her eyes. Nuzzling into the side of Elphaba’s neck, she tightened her arm around her and drifted off to sleep finally.

Elphaba lay there, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. She was awake, but was finding it difficult to process what had just happened. Looking down, she saw blonde curls and pink, slightly parted lips, and soft, gown-covered breasts pressed against her side. Blinking, Elphaba felt her heart rate slow as she watched Galinda breathe. Tracing the length of Galinda’s arm with her eyes, she wrapped her free arm around the sleeping girl and went back to staring at the ceiling until the sun came up.

**

When Galinda woke the next morning, she was alone in bed, wrapped around a pillow. When she sat up, she realized that Elphaba was gone from the room. Troubled, she got ready for the day, worrying that she had been too forward the night before. At breakfast, she didn’t see her roommate anywhere, so she sat by herself. Stirring her yogurt idly, she stared out the window, and jumped a little when someone set their tray down opposite her. Looking up, she saw Fiyero looking back at her, and he asked uncertainly, “Can I sit here?”

She nodded and pulled her tray closer to her. “Sure.” Taking a bite of her yogurt, she watched him get settled. She was very aware that the other students in the room were watching them closely. “How are you?”

He spread jam over a slice of bread as he answered. “I’ve been good. How are you? Haven’t seen much of you since the dance.”

She blushed faintly and ate a piece of cantaloupe. “Yeah.” She saw a flash of green out the window and turned to look, but it wasn’t Elphaba. She sighed and stabbed at a piece of apple with her fork. She jumped a little in her seat when she saw Fiyero; she’d forgotten he was there.

“Are you ok?”

She nodded, “I’m fine. Just… fine.” He didn’t look like he believed her, and she stared at her plate again, taking a bite of her breakfast without really tasting it.

Fiyero watched her carefully for a few minutes, confused. When they’d first met, Galinda had matched him pretty well in personality, background, general lack of care for anything but being part of the in-crowd. She was still gorgeous, still popular, but she’d changed. “Galinda?” The blonde head tilted up until he could meet her eyes. “Did I do something wrong at the dance? Everything seemed fine, and then you just stopped talking to me. You stopped talking to everyone.”

Galinda carefully set down her fork. No one was sitting close enough to eavesdrop on their conversation, but she wanted to get away from the prying eyes around her. Putting on a smile, she announced, “I guess I’m not that hungry right now. I’m going to go for a walk.”

Fiyero caught onto her unsubtle hint and stood up. “I’ll join you. Anything to put off going to class.” He offered her a hand to help her up, and they left the dining hall. As soon as they were out the door, everyone started talking. Finally, it seemed, Galinda was acting normally.

**

When they got outside, Galinda looked around, hoping to see Elphaba on her way back from the library. But there was still no sign of her. She walked along, worrying her nails. She had slept so well last night, after joining Elphaba in bed. Her roommate was warm, soft where she needed to be, comfortable. But now she was terrified that she’d moved too fast, done the wrong thing. When Elphaba had agreed that they needed to talk, she’d taken that to mean that she wanted to move further. It was why she’d given in to her desire to sleep with her.

Fiyero watched her as they walked. The smile she’d left with had faded and she looked scared, and sad. Stopping, he caught her arm so that she would look at him. He didn’t like the troubled look in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” When she shook her head and looked down, he reached out and gently tilted her head back up. “I may be brainless most of the time, but that is because I could care less about school. I do care about you though. You can talk to me, I won’t spread it around.” When she just looked at him, he added, “I promise.”

Galinda bit her lip as she watched him. He was a very handsome young man, the kind she’d been raised expecting to marry. She had been drawn to him at first because he was who she was supposed to be with. But looking at him now, all she could think of was Elphaba and how right it felt to kiss her and lie against her.

When she didn’t answer right away, he sighed. “I know there is something bothering you. I asked your roommate, but she wouldn’t say anything. If you…”

“You talked to Elphie?” she interrupted, surprised.

The familiarity inherent in her words startled him. He knew that Galinda and Elphaba had been spending a lot of time together recently, but everyone seemed to think that she was plotting something, given that she’d hated her before the dance. No one thought that she could really be friends with someone… green. Looking at her now, he realized that maybe they all were wrong. “A while ago, yeah.”

“Have you seen her today? She was gone before I got up.” Galinda started walking again, and he followed behind.

He shrugged. “Not today. She’s kind of hard to miss.” The last thing he expected was for Galinda to whirl around and glare at him.

“Don’t talk about her like that!”

She said it so vehemently that he took a step back. “But she’s green! How many green people do you see around here?”

“Doesn’t mean she’s not beautiful! She is! You don’t have to say it like she’s not. She isn’t something to be stared at like some… some… some festival show. She’s a person, a beautiful girl who has spent too much of her life being stared at and laughed at for something she has no control over. I won’t have it anymore, I love her too much to have it anymore!” She turned around and stormed off towards the dormitory, leaving Fiyero standing there staring after her, dumbfounded.

**

After five hours of lying there holding Galinda, Elphaba gave up on sleep and carefully left the bed. Galinda didn’t want to let her go, but after a moment, she loosened her grip and rolled over long enough for Elphaba to slip away. She hurried through her morning routine as quietly as she could, praying that she wouldn’t do anything to wake the other girl up. When she was ready to go, she watched Galinda for a moment from the doorway; the blonde had rolled back over and was shifting restlessly on the bed, one hand sliding across the warm spot that Elphaba had been lying in. She wasn’t using the pillow, so Elphaba carefully turned it around so that Galinda could feel it. A wave of unexpected tenderness flowed through her as she watched Galinda wrap her arm around the pillow and snuggle up to it, settling once more.

Shaking her head, she quietly left the room. Her first stop was the kitchen, where she charmed one of the cooks into giving her some fruit and a cup of juice. She ate quickly and headed off to the library. She had some research to do. The librarian was just unlocking the doors when she got there, and, though it wasn’t unusual for Elphaba to spend hours at the library every day, the librarian was surprised to see her there so early. Elphaba played it off lightly, saying something about last minutes studying, before disappearing into the stacks of books.

There was a section of books written by members of the pleasure-faith, which, other than the fictional romance novels, were the only books that really dealt with relationships. She was hoping to find one on how to be in a relationship, or at least some tips on courting a woman. She’d been thinking, and she didn’t think she’d be able to serenade Galinda as Avaric had done to Pfanee, or send sickeningly sweet cards that Milla loved. Flowers she could do, and a nice meal; her grandfather would be happy that she was actually using the allowance she was given every month.

Looking through the books, she pulled up short when she came across the title Kumbrician Love: Women Who Love Women. She pulled out the book and carried it to the closest window seat. Hiding the book inside her notes, she read until the clock chimed twenty minutes before her class. Glancing furtively around, she didn’t see the librarian around as she closed the books and slid both of them into her satchel. She waved at the woman sitting at the front desk as she hurried out towards the science building.

She was the first one in class, and she took her time getting settled before pulling out her notes for a final review. A gaggle of giggling girls came in not long after, but she ignored them until she heard Galinda’s name. Her focus gone, she listened as they went over step-by-step Galinda eating breakfast with Fiyero and then leaving with him, hand in hand. Their consensus was that Galinda had finally shown some sense. This last was said especially loud by Pfanee, ensuring that Elphaba heard it. She hunched her shoulders and stared at her notes, missing Fiyero coming in and staring at her, an odd look in his eyes.

Galinda rushed in a few minutes later, out of breath as she barely beat Dr. Dillamond through the door. Seeing the open seat next to her roommate, she sat there, trying to catch Elphaba’s eye. The green girl didn’t look at her, so she reached over and slid her hand over Elphaba’s wrist, curling her fingers gently around it. “Elphie? You ok?” she asked softly.

**

Elphaba looked at the delicate fingers on her skin, bemused, and then turned her head to look at Galinda. Over her head she could see the rest of the class watching them intently. The Winkie Prince, Fiyero something-or-other, had the most peculiar expression on his face, and Pfanee and Shenshen had their heads together giggling. Nessa didn’t seem to be paying any attention at all, but Boq, sitting next to her, was glaring at her until he caught her gaze.

When she finally met Galinda’s eyes, she half-smiled, then pulled her hand out from under Galinda’s and slid a stray curl of blonde hair behind Galinda’s ear. “I’m fine,” she muttered, watching the path her fingers took. And with that, everything was alright again, as Galinda flushed a pretty shade of pink and touched her ear.

Class went on after that. The test that had that day ended up being a very simple, five-question quiz, and Dr. Dillamond seemed uncharacteristically distracted. She considered staying after to talk to him, but Galinda tugged her sleeve and she followed after her.

"Survival of the Fittest" PG

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:23:01 GMT

Title: Survival of the Fittest
Author: sammysam
Rating: PG
Fandom: Wicked
Pairing: Galinda/Elphaba
Summery: "Would you kindly stop staring at me like I'm some insect under a microscope, or do they not teach manners to you Gillikenese darlings?"
AN: This was kindly beta'd by katrin and myth_moondancer. Written for ralst’s “1001 Nights” challenge- fear.
Disclaimer: Characters and places belong to Gregory Maguire, Steven Schwartz and Winnie Holtzman.
Cross-posted to wicked_fanfic and gelphie_lovers

On the evening of their third day at Shiz, Galinda Upland (of the Upper Uplands) sat at her desk using the mirror she'd hung there to fuss with her hair. She was meeting Shenshen soon and had to look perfect. But something just wasn't right. In the mirror, she could see her roommate, sprawled on the far bed, reading from one of their dingy old textbooks. Honestly! How could anyone stand to read them, they were so old and yellowed, and even carrying them clashed with every outfit she had.

Pinning up another curl, she glanced again at the funny looking green girl, wondering if she was going to make any sound at all besides that annoying page-turning. After the way she carried on at orientation, Galinda had been terrified that she would have to listen to "Miss Elphaba Thropp, Third Descending" rant on day and night. And she couldn’t even claim superiority to keep her quiet! She very begrudgingly admitted that the girl, an heir to the Eminent Thropp, was from a social class higher than her own. But other than class that day, where Elphaba had proven herself to be quite the nerd, the girl had only spoken twice in her presence, both times to her sister.

She held up a pair of silver earrings against her cheek and, deciding against them, looked again at her roommate. She hadn't moved; she still lay on her stomach with that dark hair falling over her eyes. Galinda wondered briefly at the texture of it; was it brittle like twigs, perhaps? Or rough, like tree bark, to match her green skin? Giggling at the thought, the blonde jumped when she heard from behind her,

"Would you kindly stop staring at me like I'm some insect under a microscope, or do they not teach manners to you Gillikenese darlings?" The annoyed voice was accompanied by a forcefully turned page.

That was another thing. The girl hadn't spoken directly to her at all until now, but the few times their paths had crossed (surprisingly few given that they shared a room), Elphaba had glared at her with complete and total disdain. Every time. Now, granted, Galinda didn't like Elphaba at all, but no one had ever, ever disliked her in return! It just didn't happen! Everyone loved Galinda Upland.

"I wasn't staring at you," Galinda retorted, even as she looked at her again.

"You are doing it now. Politeness really must not be a Gillikinese tradition, or are you just the exception?" Elphaba replied, sounding bored.

Galinda hmphed and went about adding more eye shadow. Touching up her lipstick a few minutes later, she got up from her chair and grabbed her matching handbag of the day. At the door, she paused and turned back. "Are you coming to the dinner tonight?" The student center at Shiz was having an informal ‘first night of classes’ dinner, to which Galinda was going to be fashionably late.

"And why would I want to go to a thing like that?"

"How can you not want to go?" Galinda couldn't fathom the thought, not even for someone green. "Events like this are why people go to university, to meet people and make connections!"

"Like anyone wants to 'connect' with me. And I came to university to learn and to study so that I won't need connections to get what I want later on. Unlike you and those other little play things out there with too few brains and too much money. So why don't you run along and leave me be." Elphaba flung out a hand and pointed at her, without looking up from her book. Galinda squeaked when the door swung open and caught her on the shoulder. Glaring at Elphaba with more than a touch of fear in her eyes, she fled, and heard the door slam shut behind her, cutting off a rather disturbing laugh.

How would she ever survive until the end of term?

After the Oz Dust, Wicked, Gelphie, 2/?

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 01:24:37 GMT

Title: After the Oz Dust 2/?
Rating: PG-13 (for now, will be R in later parts)
Subject:This fic is sort of a mix of bookverse and musicalverse. Just worked out well that way, there are bits and pieces pulled from each, but Galinda and Elphaba are more their musical characters than the bookones.
Pairing: Gelphie
Summery: What should have happened after the Oz Dust
AN: This was kindly beta'd by katrin and myth_moondancer. x-posted in wicked_fanfic and gelphie_lovers
Disclaimer:Characters and places belong to Gregory Maguire, musical references to Steven Schwartz and Winnie Holtzman.

Part one can be found here

They didn’t kiss again for several days, because of two big exams rather than a lack of desire. In a strange twist of events, it was Elphaba who had trouble concentrating on her notes, whilst Galinda threw herself into her studies. They shared a bed whilst studying, and were anybody to barge in during the evenings, they would see Galinda sprawled on her stomach reading while Elphaba sat beside her against the head of the bed. Not that they had many visitors. Nessa came by occasionally, but not often, and Pfanee, Shenshen and Milla only talked to Galinda during the day, and gossiped about it at night.

The day before their last exam, Galinda finally threw her book down and leaned against Elphaba’s shoulder. She’d been sitting next to her roommate in order to share the book. She looked up at Elphaba, expecting some sort of response, and caught her staring off out the window. Grinning, she crawled into Elphaba’s lap so that she could meet her startled gaze with her own. Eyes mischievous, she kissed her intently, waiting until Elphaba started to respond. When she felt hands lightly rest on her hips, she pulled back. “Hi,” she murmured, watching Elphaba’s eyes drop to her mouth. She licked her lips and giggled when the hands on her hips tightened and pulled her closer.

Galinda followed the movement and pressed her mouth against Elphaba’s once more. She kept her eyes open briefly, and then closed them as she pressed against her roommate more fully. Her hands, which had been on Elphaba’s shoulders, slid down her sides until they rested just below the other girl’s breasts, which were pressed against her own. As her fingers brushed the edges of Elphaba’s breasts, the other girl wrenched away and off the bed, leaving Galinda sprawled on her side on the bed. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were wide as she wrapped her arms around herself. “What are you doing?” she gasped out, her green skin flushed dark.

Rolling over onto her back lazily and looking at her through half-closed eyes, Galinda replied, “Kissing you.”

“Why?” Elphaba’s eyes were wild and she backed up until she was against the wall.

“Wanted to,” Galinda said cheekily. She sat up and patted the blanket beside her. “Come here.” When Elphaba didn’t move, she sighed and held out her hand. “Elphie… come here. Please?”

Elphaba shakily walked to the bed and sat, a foot of space between them. She let her hands drop into her lap and she stared at them for a few minutes, hyperaware that Galinda was looking at her. She twisted her fingers in her skirt, and then clasped them tightly together. Without looking at her roommate she whispered, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing and I… I’m sorry.”

Galinda got off the bed and stood in front of her. When Elphaba didn’t look up at her, she touched her fingers to her chin to tilt her head up. “Elphie, look at me,” she commanded softly. When Elphaba raised her eyes, she smiled softly and rubbed her thumb across her bottom lip. “Elphie…” she started, making sure she had her attention. “If I am moving too fast, tell me. I know I want to kiss you; I know I like being with you, but if you aren’t sure, that is ok.” It felt weird to be the one so sure in the room. She was used to Elphaba’s confidence in school and herself overshadowing even her own social confidence.

Dropping her hand, she pulled at her skirts and knelt on the bed, knees on either side of Elphaba’s hips. “Do you want to kiss me, Elphie?” she asked quietly, suddenly shy and uncertain.

For all her terror, there was no hesitation in Elphaba’s whispered “yes.”

“Do you like kissing me?” Elphaba nodded once. “Kiss me, Elphie,” she whispered, her mouth millimeters away from Elphaba’s.

The other girl, entranced, closed her eyes and leaned forward. They kissed, at first just a touching of the lips, and then Elphaba tentatively traced Galinda’s lips with her tongue. Galinda pressed closer and wrapped her arms around her. Elphaba felt Galinda’s heat against her hands, and she quickly moved them. She wrapped her arms around the blonde girl in her lap, and let herself focus solely on the lovely mouth against her own. Long moments later they separated, and Galinda rested against her shoulder; Elphaba could feel her breath on her neck and she shivered.

“Elphie?”

“Yeah?”

“Want to go shopping?”

Elphaba looked down at her. Galinda was playing with a fold in her dress, running her fingers over the black material. “We’ve got that test tomorrow.” It wasn’t a “no,” and they both knew it.

“We’ve been studying for days, and you know you’ve not been concentrating well. Let’s go shopping, eat lunch out. Take a break. It’s such a beautiful day Elphie, we shouldn’t waste it.”

Elphaba hated to admit it, but it sounded fun. And she would like to eat somewhere other than the Crage Hall dining room. “I’d like to eat out with you.”

**

Minutes later, they were walking down the path towards the gates to the university. There were a few other people about, lying on blankets on the grass studying, eating lunch or just talking. Galinda was chatting away about some dress she’d seen weeks before but hadn’t bought, only because at the time, Shenshen was thinking of getting a dress in the same color for the dance. They passed a few of their year mates seated on a bench just outside the gates, but didn’t pay them much attention. One of them said, just loud enough to be heard, “Never thought she’d lower herself to the vegetable bin,” and the group laughed hysterically.

The only sign Elphaba gave that she heard was a tightening of her lips and a subtle move away as they walked. Galinda did not appear to have heard at all as she grabbed her hand and squealed, “Ooh! Elphie!” She pulled her closer and turned so that she was walking backwards in front of her. “There’s the Turtle Dove, we have to go there for lunch! They have this amazing chocolate cheesecake that you just have to try. I haven’t been there in ages!”

This shut up the people laughing instantly, because none of them had the family clout to automatically get a table at the most popular café in Shiz. Before she turned back to walk beside Elphaba, she spared them a look of derision, then forgot about them. She glanced up and smiled when she saw that her roommate had relaxed.

“Do you want to eat first or shop?” she asked, tucking her arm through Elphaba’s and pressing against her side.

“Eat first,” she responded, lips quirking into a small grin. “I’ll need my strength.” Galinda laughed out loud, and bumped hips with her.

**

Lunch was wonderful. Although Elphaba had never been there before, the host and the waiters treated her normally, though they fawned over Galinda more than her. Which she was perfectly fine with; she still wasn’t used to Galinda, she wouldn’t know what to do with other people. At Galinda’s insistence, they shared a slice of the chocolate cheesecake that she had raved about. It was amazing, and they fought over the last bite. Elphaba won, but when Galinda pouted at her, she handed her the fork with the cake on it. Galinda daintily took a bite, and held the fork out to her with half the piece left on it. When she reached for it, it was pulled back.

She stared at her roommate, confused, as she continued to hold out the fork. It slowly dawned on her just what she wanted, and she blushed. Their gazes locked, she leaned forward in her chair and closed her lips around the fork, taking the last bite from it. A flash of triumph went through her when she saw Galinda’s face flush and her breathing get faster.

**

From the café they went to the dress shop Galinda had been talking about. They’d been there before, and Elphaba found herself mildly interested in a few outfits the shopkeeper directed her to. She was fingering the bead work on a blue skirt when Galinda got her attention.

“Elphie!”

She turned and her jaw dropped slightly. The gown Galinda had on was… beautiful. Galinda was breathtaking in it. The corset emphasized her figure, and the coloring, a pale blue with an intricate embroidery of flowers, flattered her blue eyes. She had difficulty tearing her gaze away from Galinda’s curves to look back at her face. As it was, she lingered briefly at the low neck line of the gown, taking in the sight of the pale, creamy skin and the hint of her roommate’s generous cleavage.

When their eyes finally met, Galinda curtsied low and rose slowly. “Do you like it?” she asked. She’d seen Elphaba’s reaction and reveled in it. She constantly worried that her roommate really had no interest in her and was only going along with her actions for… whatever reason she might have. Anytime she got a reaction like now, or at the café, she felt better. She wanted Elphaba to want her, to love her.

“You look beautiful.” You always look beautiful, but now… The thought lingered in Elphaba’s head as she continued to stare. With the blonde hair, pale gown off the shoulder, and the delicate lines of her face, Galinda looked like a bride on her wedding day. She tried to banish that thought, but it stayed, and expanded to “a bride, and she is here with me.” She repeated again softly, “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” Galinda came over to her and touched her hand. Pressing against her arm, she looked beyond her at the skirt she had been looking at. “Ooh, Elphie, that’s pretty!” She pulled the skirt off the hanger and held it up against her roommate’s stomach. Looking around, she spotted a white blouse with three-quarter length sleeves and a pretty design along the edge and held it above the skirt. “You should try this on!”

She continued to hold the outfit out to her, and Elphaba took them hesitantly. She followed Galinda to the dressing room and stepped in side. Before she shut the door, Galinda murmured, “Come out and show me, please?” Inside the dressing room, she set the clothes down on top of Galinda’s pile and stared at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t see anything good about herself, though she supposed her eyes were nice. Shaking her head at the blonde girl’s attempts to make her pretty, she quickly undid the buttons of her dress and hung it up carefully. She knew her roommates impatience very well. She’d just pulled the skirt on when there was a knock on the door.

“I’m almost done,” she replied, hurriedly tugging the shirt over her head. She didn’t look at herself in the mirror when she was done, just opened the door to her roommate, who took her hands and pulled her out of the small room.

**

Still holding her hands, Galinda stepped back to look at her. The effect of the new outfit was visible immediately. Elphaba’s curves were noticeable now. All her other dresses, including what Galinda had talked her into in previous weeks, hid more than they showed. The cut of the blouse emphasized Elphaba’s femininity and the coloring flattered her greenness. It was an outfit that Galinda would never wear, style-wise, but on her roommate it was beautiful.

She grinned happily and pulled Elphaba into a hug. “Gorgeous, Elphie!” she said, pulling back. Turning to face the large shop mirror, she wrapped an arm around Elphaba’s waist and leaned against her. They made a picture, Galinda in her gown and blonde ringlets and Elphaba in her blue and green. They fit, and Galinda sighed contentedly and pressed closer. “We look so pretty,” she murmured.

Elphaba shook her head, still staring at their image. “You do.”

Galinda tightened her arm around Elphaba’s waist and looked at her. “We do.” She turned, curled a hand around Elphaba’s neck and kissed her. “You are beautiful, Elphaba Thropp,” she said as they parted. “Even without the clothes, you are beautiful.” She kissed her again, and they would have stayed in each other’s arms for eternity if the shopkeeper hadn’t cleared her throat. When Galinda looked at her, she was watching them disapprovingly.

She met her gaze evenly and didn’t look away until the older woman did. She pressed her lips to Elphaba’s neck briefly and looked up at her. “You should get that, Elphie. It’s very pretty.” With that she stepped back, squeezed her hand, and went to change.

**

The shopkeeper was huffy when they paid, but said nothing outside the context of her job. They arranged to have their packages delivered to Crage Hall, and as they were leaving, Galinda asked if there was anywhere that Elphaba wanted to go to. So, they found themselves in Elphaba’s favorite bookshop, where Elphaba went off to look at history texts and Galinda, keeping an eye on her roommate, asked the shopkeeper if he had any books on the Kumbric Witch. He pointed to a dark corner out of her roommate’s view. Pulling up a stool, she sat and looked through the titles in front of her. There was one book that Boq had mentioned once that had a drawing of a Kumbric Witch in it, and that was what she wanted to see.

She couldn’t remember the title (she hadn’t really been listening to that conversation anyway), so she gave up and just started flipping through pages. In the sixth book she found something she wasn’t expecting. On facing pages were drawings of the Kumbric Witch and St. Glinda, and she couldn’t help but stare at them: the Witch with her green skin and down turned head and black gown on one side, and the Saint and her blonde hair and pretty gown and sparkly jewels on the other.

It could be them, she thought, enchanted by the images. Peering around the bookcases, she saw Elphaba poking her nose into various books, so she held the book to her chest and hurried to the counter to pay for it. Handing it over to the shopkeeper, she blushed when he looked at the title and then back at her with is eyebrows raised.

“Some would say that this book is not appropriate for a girl of your standing, Ms. Upland. The author has some... scandalous ideas about our beloved Saint.”

Fighting off the blush, she responded shortly, “I’ll take it just the same, and judge for myself.”

He just shrugged and wrapped the book for her, glancing at her roommate, who was making her way to them. “Perhaps you will.” Handing the book to her, he held out his other hand for the books Elphaba had brought up. “One day, my dear, you should own a bookshop of your own, if only so that you could get your own copy of every book you sell.”

“Maybe I will, someday. Or I could just work for you and read all your books, Master Tricket.” She looked away, embarrassed, as he wrapped up one book in particular, glancing at her and then Galinda in turn before shaking his head and muttering, “Kids.” Not that her roommate noticed, as she stood next to her, clutching her package to herself and looking down at the ground. Keeping an eye on her as she paid, she took her books, and then gently led Galinda outside.

**

Somewhere between the dress shop and the bookshop, Elphaba gained a confidence she’d not felt in weeks. Maybe it was the way Galinda had stared down the dressmaker or the way she didn’t hesitate to kiss her in public, but something had changed within her during those few minutes. Looking at the blonde girl in the sunlight, she was once again struck by her beauty, and told her so before she realized what she was saying.

Whatever had made her roommate shy at the bookshop seemed to disappear at her words, and Galinda looked up at her, smiling brilliantly. Elphaba touched her cheek, kissed her lightly on the mouth, and took her arm as they cheerfully made their way back to Shiz.

Relative Time, SVU, Liv/Alex

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 01:16:47 GMT

Title: Relative Time
Author: sammysam
Pairing: Liv/Alex
Fandom: L&O:SVU/Conviction
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters areproperty of NBC and Dick Wolf.
Spoilers: minor spoilers for "Ghost," "Pilot" from Conviction
Summary: Sequel to Time Clarifies. Cross-posted to alex_liv_lovers

Their first date wasn’t really all that special. There were no flowers or fancy restaurants where the meal cost over $200. She didn’t particularly want all that though. She was content to sit at the table nursing a beer and watching Olivia and the guys. One of the things she regretted was only going out with them twice in three years. Shame that the last one ended as it did. She’d almost worked up the courage to ask Olivia to accompany her home when she’d been shot. When the car bomb went off, she’d been too prideful to change her mind and stay with her. She remembered being cold that night.

It was harder than she had thought it would be, telling Olivia that there had been no one since before she left. After her “Emily” speech during the trial, she had hated her self because she saw a tiny light in Olivia’s eyes go out. How do you go about telling the woman you are falling in love with that you are a liar? She was selfish, not wanting to look like a fool back then. Arrogance would always be her downfall. But Olivia understood.

Chocolate. Chocolate and champagne, two of her obsessions, comfort foods, of a sort. That is what Olivia tasted like, she decided. Kissing Olivia was fast becoming her favorite pastime. After their first kiss (which wasn’t as awkward as she’d expected), Olivia had kissed her one more time, then left. The next day, Alex went to the 1-6 for the first time since her return. She felt better going there then than she would have the first day back in the city. She didn’t feel the same discomfort that she had with Branch, and she decided Olivia was the reason. She was always comfortable around Olivia. Cabot’s weren’t supposed to need support, in any situation. She had been trained for that. But Olivia was always there when she needed it. Always trying to protect her, even when she didn’t want it.

Olivia’s apartment was small. Even she admitted it. And her bed was small, but it gave Alex the opportunity to curl around her. She liked doing that. Liv’s body was gorgeous and strong and she liked the contrast her pale skin made with Liv’s darker skin. And watching Liv move over her was amazing. When they made love, all of Liv’s focus was on her, and she reveled in it. Alex enjoyed being with her, even more than she had expected. She didn’t know what she expected, she’d just wanted to be with her and not have the regrets that she had had when she left. It had been a dim hope that Liv would feel anything for her.

Her six month period was almost up. Her classes for the year were done, and they’d been easy. She’d always been a good student. Those were the nights that Olivia sometimes came over, when she had work to do. She usually brought her own work with her, and they would spend an hour or two on the couch attempting to distract each other. Various games of footsies were played, some which led to some amazing, fun, couch sex. It was nice to be playful with a lover. The few “proper” relationships she’d had had never been really fun. Her first relationship with a woman in college had been so shrouded in secrecy, for both of them, that it really was just sex. The others, the men, were boring, and they only cared about societal appearances and their own pleasure. Liv was different. She didn’t want to hide. And Alex refused to hide anymore.

Fighting with Liv was… interesting. Alex liked to argue and debate. Came with the job. At work, Liv was more than willing to pick a fight. At home, however, her inclination was to disappear. Leave the apartment, go for a run, shut herself off in her bedroom and wait for Alex to leave. She didn’t like conflict in her personal life, she told her once. She’d had enough conflict as a child with her mother to want it with a lover. Not that they really fought all that often. And not about work. Never about work. Alex liked their arguments, not because she liked making Liv unhappy, but because it made her feel normal.

Had she ever been that young? Her first day as Bureau Chief had been a lesson in how old she really was. Ignoring the fact that, at 33, she was the youngest Bureau Chief the Manhattan DA’s office had ever had. Her time in SVU tripling it’s conviction rate and then taking a bullet (or three) for the job had raised her to godhood in their eyes, much like Abby Carmichael had been to Narcotics when she’d replaced her. The two other senior attorneys were guys that she had known from before, and she’d been friends with Steele since their days in law school. They’d both hugged her when they first saw her and told her they were glad she’d been able to come back. It was nice to be welcomed back like that. The new attorneys on the other hand had regarded her reverently for weeks. Until Mike had been shot. She wasn’t able to continue watching the press conference with Branch. When she got home that night, Liv was there, and she curled up in her arms for over an hour, sobbing. She felt safer there than she’d ever felt in protective custody. The next day she tried not to feel guilty for being alive.

The one thing that she hated about her job was that she never saw her detectives. Her ADA’s didn’t work with SVU at the 1-6; they got the excess cases from narco, vice, and homicide. She remembered being in their shoes, knowing that the better cases were just out of her reach. Sometimes, though, if she was waiting for Elliot to finish with Casey, Liv would wander up to her office and it was like it used to be, only better because now she didn’t have to dream about kissing her.

Bringing Liv to Martha’s Vineyard to meet her family had been… nerve-racking. She’d been more nervous about it than Liv, and it had been Liv who’d taken her in her arms and said that everything would be okay and that nothing her family said would change the way she felt about her. She’d made Alex smile when she said, “‘Death cannot stop true love.’ Do you think I’d let anything else?” Alex kissed her soundly, then taken her by the hand and led her into the house. In retrospect, the introduction had gone better than she’d expected. Her Uncle Bill had already known, making her feel dumb for not expecting the legal community grapevine to reach the judge’s chambers. His approval of Liv and their relationship went along way with the rest of her family. Though she had not expected her grandmother to take her aside that weekend and regale her with stories of the women she’d been with in the 1920’s. The shock of that stayed on her face for the rest of the visit, much to Olivia’s great amusement.

After awhile, Liv managed to have lunch with her a few times a month. She enjoyed those few extra hours together each month, especially as the summer months brought more crime and Liv spent more time at the station. She remembered one afternoon when Christina came running in, full of nervous energy and questions before she went to trial. She’d been doing that more and more since the case where the mother had made her daughter sick, causing the child to kill herself. When she left, Olivia stared after her, dumbfounded. When Alex asked her what was wrong, her response was, “I think I just realized what Casey was like when she first got here. She really… hasn’t changed.” She’d laughed at that, and been in a good mood the rest of the day.

Her first Christmas back home had been wonderful. She missed her mother, but so did Liv, so they didn’t have to grieve alone. Elliott and Fin brought over a small tree and they decorated it together. Liv tried to put the lights up and got them tangled, so Alex banished her to the kitchen to make dinner. When she came back, the lights were on and flashing cheerily in the darkened room. After the holidays were over, Alex’s favorite memory of that Christmas was curling up on the couch with Liv, drinking hot chocolate, watching the lights, and listening to her lover breathe. It was good to be home.

Time Clarifies, SVU, Liv/Alex

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 01:06:47 GMT

Title: Time Clarifies
Pairing: Liv/Alex is hinted at
Fandom: L&O:SVU
Rating: PG
Season: minor spoilers for "Loss" and "Ghost"
Summary: Thought exercise on Alex's return
Author's Notes: This is my first fic that I've posted for SVU, but I've written for Stargate, JAG, and Xena for years. Also, the randomness of this can be blamed on having to sit through six hours of very boring classes today. It's not often I have plot bunnies, much less the time or the inclination to write them down. Kindly beta'd by joran who also conned me into typing it up by saying she'd look it over for me. :)

*****

It had been anti-climactic, when it came right down to it. She didn’t really know what she had expected, but some lowly FBI agent fresh on the job appearing on her doorstep to tell her she was free to go wasn’t it. She figured she’d at least see Agent Hammond again. At the back of her mind, she’d hoped that, just maybe, Olivia or hell, she’d take Elliot or Don or someone she knew. Instead, she got a boy barely out of his teens handing her some papers and a number to call when she’d decided what she wanted to do.

She hadn’t had to think very hard. Her three days in New York City two years earlier had caused such an ache inside that she’d wanted to die when she left again. They’d moved her to Aurora, Colorado after the trial. It wasn’t a small town like she’d been in in Wisconsin, thankfully. It was just outside of Denver, and it was pretty in the fall. But she wanted to go home.

Her mother’s attorneys knew she was alive; she’d had a chance to contact them during the trial. When she signed her release papers, she contacted them and began the process of gaining access to her money again. They reserved a room for her at the St. Regis Hotel while they readied her mother’s apartment for her. Her own had been sold as per her will, and the money given to a rape crisis centre. The estate attorney told her that her belongings were in storage, along with her mother’s possessions. Before she died, her mother hadn’t been able to do more than go through her clothes; everything else she owned was packed away. Her Uncle Bill had been named the executor of her mother’s will, but anything he was planning to do with her belongings was put on hold when she returned for the trial. Or so he told her in the brief moment she saw him outside the courtroom after her testimony.

She’d made the call the day she got the papers. She needed to go home. She asked about Anthony, but all they told her was that he was being taken care of. She’d offered to take him after the trial, but Hammond had refused. She thought of him often, because it hurt less than thinking about home, and hoped that he didn’t get shoved into the foster system.

Her first day was back in the city was surreal. After checking into the St. Regis, she’d stood at her window and just stared out at the city. It was a grey, chilly day, but she could see the city. She imagined she could see the 1-6, and she fought the urge to go there. She hadn’t told them she was back yet. Or the DA’s office. Her attorneys had offered to contact the DA about possible jobs, but she declined. She would, in a day or two, contact the state bar association about reinstating her license and whatever else she would have to do. Her two jobs in the program did not lend themselves to keeping up on the practice of law.

It took a week to get her mother’s apartment ready. She had her own furniture from her old place moved in, but there was still a ton of space left over in the penthouse apartment. She put up several of the paintings from her mother’s collection, and all of hers, but there was still a lot of white space on the walls. It was quiet, and lonely, and she thought about getting a cat. She’d been planning to adopt one in Wisconsin when Don and Hammond showed up. She still hadn’t spoken to the DA’s office, though she imagined the bar association had contacted them. She wondered if Branch had mentioned anything to the other attorneys, and if it had trickled down to her detectives.

She couldn’t be an attorney again for about six months. The legal continuing education courses needed to be taken, there was still some debate over if she would have to retake the bar exam. She spent a week or so roaming Central Park and making sure everything she loved in the museums were still there.

The six month period, it turned out, would work for her. There was a Bureau Chief retiring about that time, and her name was on the top of the list to replace him. She tried not to focus on the fact that she would rarely step foot inside a court room as a prosecuting attorney and just be grateful to be allowed back into the District Attorney’s Office at all. It had been weird, returning there to speak with Branch. He’d hugged her and said "Welcome back," then got down to business. No SVU or Major Cases; but a chance to lead a division and mentor the young attorneys. It would do well for her career, considering her record before she’d... left. She wanted to argue, SVU was hers. But she didn’t.

After the fact, she wondered what had taken so long. Two weeks after her return, as she sat in the kitchen staring at a half-full glass of wine, there was a knock at the door. It may as well have been forty years, not four, because she would know that knock anywhere, at anytime. Walking to the door, she straightened her clothes and swept her hair behind her ears, telling herself to stop hesitating. Checking to make sure her new cat wasn’t nearby, ready to rush out the door, she opened it, and stared into dark brown eyes. "Hi."
"Welcome home."

After the Oz Dust, Wicked, Gelphie, 1/?

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 01:01:50 GMT

Title: After the Oz Dust
Rating: PG-13 (for now, will be R in later parts)
Subject: This fic is sort of a mix of bookverse and musicalverse. Just worked out well that way, there are bits and pieces pulled from each, but Galinda and Elphaba are more their musical characters than the book ones.
Pairing: Gelphie
Summery: What should have happened after the Oz Dust
AN: This was kindly beta'd by katrin and myth_moondancer. There will be more to this story, though for now it is a stand-alone piece. x-posted in wicked_fanfic
Disclaimer: Characters and places belong to Gregory Maguire, musical references to Steven Schwartz and Winnie Holtzman. Wish they were mine, but the most I can do is listen to the music obsessively, travel to three different countries to see the musical, and read the book over and over (and over) again.

After the dance at the Oz Dust, Elphaba took to wearing the hat Galinda had given her. The other students had laughed at her wearing it, but her roommate had apologized for trying to embarrass her, and she’d done it in front of everyone. She’d even complimented how it looked on her, and blushed as she said it. It became her favorite article of clothing. They danced together a few times then she left, begging homework to do. She was surprised a few minutes later, as she was walking back to Shiz, when she heard rapid footsteps behind her.

She turned in time to catch Galinda as she slowed and stumbled. They ended up a tangle on the ground, and Elphaba got a mouthful of blonde curls and the realization of just where Galinda’s head had ended up. She kept her arms around her as they stood, and she was surprised to see her blushing again. She decided she liked the natural color more than the false one she’d seen Galinda apply earlier that evening.

“What are you doing?” she asked, releasing her from her embrace and lightly holding her elbows instead. She wanted to ask why she had left Fiyero, but found herself not wanting to know hear the answer.

“I… uhh…” Galinda stuttered, looking rapidly around before meeting her eyes shyly. “I was wondering if you would help me study for history. We have that exam next week.”

Elphaba couldn’t hide her surprise at her words. “Sh… sure.” She risked a glance back towards the club and dropped her arms. She was even more surprised when, as they began walking again, a small hand slipped into hers, but all she did was curl her fingers around it lightly.

**

After that, things changed. Elphaba endured (she refused to admit, even to herself, that she enjoyed the attention) Galinda playing with her hair and dragging her clothes shopping. The giggling blonde had succeeded in convincing her to purchase a few dresses in colors which were not black, but she refused the makeup. Galinda tried her best, but she wouldn’t budge.

Over the following weeks to the end of term, Galinda pulled away from her friends, spending more and more time with her roommate. Ever since that first moment they’d touched on the dance floor, she’d been unable to stop touching her. Touching her hair, her hands, once her knee. A few nights, she fell asleep on Elphaba’s shoulder while on her bed doing homework, and woke to find her self in her own bed once more. She couldn’t help herself, she needed to touch her. And she never thought about it.

Her withdrawal got to the point where Fiyero actually came to Elphaba to see if there was something he had done to make Galinda mad at him. She’d not been able to tell him anything; she had too much to think about. Like how gentle Galinda was when she ran her fingers through her hair. And the shape of her lips as she bit into an orange. And the slope of her shoulder as she changed into her nightgown. It was a sight she saw frequently, as Galinda had taken to sitting next to her on her bed to do her homework and proved to be a (pleasant) distraction when she pushed her hair back behind her ear.

One night when she had to finish an essay, she moved to her desk and was working there when Galinda came in late from dinner. She didn’t look up at her, but she heard her pause for a moment, then hesitatingly walk to her bed and sit down. She could feel her eyes on her, but she forced herself to ignore them and continue writing. All she wanted was to gather her things and sit next to Galinda and feel her curl up against her. And she couldn’t let that happen.

**

Galinda bounded up the stairs, rushed because she’d been held up at dinner by Shenshen and Pfanee. They’d wanted her to come with them to Caprice-on-the-Pines at the end of term. She had refused immediately, but couldn’t escape them quickly enough for her taste. So she rushed up to her room, eager to get her work done so that she could try something she’d been thinking about all day. She knew where Elphaba would be: sitting against the headboard of her bed with books around her, writing her paper on the economy of the Munchkinlanders. She would make room for Galinda on one side of her so that she could join her on the bed.

But Elphaba wasn’t there. She actually had to look around the room for her, and found her at her desk. The desk that had never been used for more than book storage since the day they’d moved in. Confused and thrown off track, Galinda slowly sat down on her own bed and watched her. Her roommate gave no sign that she had noticed her presence at all.

After a few minutes of watching her write and flip through pages of her notes, she ventured to get her attention. “Elphie?” Her roommate ignored her. She tried again, “Elphie, what’s wrong?” When the only response she got was the scratching of the quill on paper, she fought back the tears that formed in her eyes and walked over to her. Touching her shoulder, she whispered again, “Elphie?”

**

Elphaba forced herself to shrug off Galinda’s hand, hating herself when she heard the tears in her voice. All her instincts were to turn around and take Galinda in her arms, but she forced it away. Mad at herself, she answered more curtly than she’d intended. “What.”

Galinda drew her hand back, stung. “Are you ok?” She wanted to ask if she’d done something wrong but couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“I’m busy. Why don’t you go play with Fiyero or Shenshen or Phanee.” She heard her roommate gasp and run out of the room. Whether she was more hurt by the sneering tone or the words themselves, she didn’t know. She didn’t know a lot of things, like why she wanted to be with Galinda, to hold her, to touch her lips, to feel her skin under her dress. She didn’t know, and she was terrified and forced it away. Galinda hadn’t returned two hours later when she finished her paper (she’d managed to finish in between guilty thoughts). It was not her best work.

She turned around for the first time and looked at her roommate’s bed. The other girl’s cloak was strewn there, left behind when she’d fled the room. She looked out the window and saw that even though the rain had been very light earlier, it was now falling harder. Cursing, she grabbed the cloak and rushed out the door. She knew she wouldn’t find Galinda indoors.

She searched the grounds for half an hour before she finally found her, tucked away in the architecture of a small corner of the science building, not well shielded from the rain. She’d curled herself up and buried her head in her knees. Keeping Galinda’s cloak under her own, she knelt down next to her and, carefully, brushed her fingers over the wet, blonde hair. “Galinda,” she said, “Galinda, my sweet, I’m sorry.” Galinda looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes, and Elphaba hated herself for making her cry. She reached out and wiped the tears and rain from her cheeks gently, fascinated by the contrast her green skin made to the flushed cheeks and blue eyes of her roommate.

Galinda sniffed and shivered, and Elphaba remembered the cloak she carried. She stood, and gently pulled on the blonde girl’s elbow gently until she stood as well, then wrapped the mostly dry article around her. Settling it on her shoulders, she quickly did up the buttons, then pulled her close to her. She held Galinda to her and whispered again, “I’m sorry.” She felt, after a moment, small hands slide under her own cloak to rest on her hips and the smaller body press closer to her, and she relaxed a little.

“Why were you mad at me?” Elphaba heard against her chest.

“I wasn’t. I’m not.” She took a deep breath and settled, rapidly debating how truthful she would be. But, she answered before she decided anything. “I’m confused, scared. I don’t know what is going on, but I know I want things that I don’t understand.” She pulled back enough to see Galinda’s face, and tilted her chin up with her fingers so that she could see her eyes. Her hand slid around to rest on the back of her neck. “I’m sorry.”

The words were barely out of her mouth when Galinda pushed herself up and pressed her mouth to hers. Elphaba gasped, and Galinda slipped her tongue in. Elphaba had never been kissed before, had never known what it felt like to press so fully against someone. She responded uncertainly, unsure of what she should do, and was startled when Galinda moaned into her mouth. She pulled back, eyes wide and breathing heavy.

Galinda stared back at her, hair dripping water, eye make up leaving tracks down her cheeks, pink lips slightly swollen, and Elphaba thought she’d never looked so pretty. She followed a drop of water from her hairline to her neck, where it disappeared into the edge of the cloak. “We… uhh… we should go back to the dorm. It’s raining,” she said dumbly. She pulled away completely, missing Galinda’s warmth immediately.

They walked quietly back to their room, only stopping once, near the doors to the kitchens, when Elphaba suddenly turned to Galinda and kissed her. It was quick, with no tongue, and just as suddenly she turned away and continued walking. She didn’t see the happy smile that graced her roommate’s face, but she felt the tiny hand once more slip into her own.

She Hated Illinois, ER, Kerry

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 00:52:44 GMT

Title: She Hated Illinois
Author: Allison (aka sammysam)
Pairing/Fandom: Kerry/ER
Summary: Bit of introspection on Kerry's part over why she's still at County
Authors notes: This is unbetad, mostly because there was no one around when I wrote it. It has, however, been spell checked, so hopefully everything is alright with it. This was written for ralst's A State of Undress Fica-a-thon

She hated Illinois. Hated it with a passion that was only surpassed by her hatred of the city of Chicago as a whole. Nothing good ever happened to her in Illinois. Every bit of happiness she thought she’d find there always turned around and bit her in the ass. She’d leave if she could, but honestly, where could she go? She wished she could go to Kim, but she had no idea where to even begin looking for her. How was it that no matter who she fell in love (deeply, madly, unequivocably) with, she always ended up alone.

She’d come to County all those years ago after being pursued heavily as a potential Chief Resident in the ER. Good career move, bad personal move. Everyone there hated her, from the very beginning. And those who’d had a hand in hiring her had a hand in undermining her. So she played up the bitch role, even though, had anyone asked the staff at her old hospital, bitch was the last thing they’d call her. Brilliant. Personable. Quiet. Not Bitch. Her happiness at seeing Mlungisi came more from the appeal of having someone around who liked her, even if their divorce still hurt.

Six years later, life threw her a curveball in a game she hadn’t even known she was playing. The appearance of Kim Legaspi changed her life in ways the blonde haired woman would never be able to comprehend. This woman, this beautiful, young, energetic woman pursuing her forced her to recognize that the women she’d known in the Congo were more than just friends she’d occasionally slept with, under the guise of the fact that it was common practice in the tribe she worked with. She hadn’t wanted to be anymore different than her leg forced her to be, and here was Kim, proclaiming that it was ok. She watched herself as though mentally detached throughout those seven months, unable to stop the train wreck that was her denial of what she knew to be true.

Her career fell apart before her eyes and she reached the point where she didn’t care anymore. Sandy’s arrival in her life came at just the right moment, when she was at the bottom and needed to work her way back up again. And yet, Sandy would ever be tied to loss. Loss of her baby. Loss of her lover. Loss of her son, even if only for a few months. Loss of her birth mother. Loss of her ER. She couldn’t afford to lose anything else, not and keep hold of the tattered threads of her life.

And so, she couldn’t leave Illinois. It would mean another fight for her son. As much as she loved Kim, was now able to have a relationship with her (she always ignored the thought that Kim wouldn’t want one with her again), she couldn’t go. It would mean losing everything she had. She hated Illinois.

Snow Days in August, SG-1, Sam/Janet

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 00:42:12 GMT

Title: Snow Days in August
Author: sammysam (aka, me, Allison)
Pairing/fandom: Sam/Janet, SG1
Summary: I honestly think the title says it all
Authors Notes: I wrote this for ralst's A State of Undress fic-athon where I chose Sam Carter and Colorado. It's been sorta beta'd by me and by katrin, so if you see any errors we may have missed, please let me know!

It was one of those Colorado days that everyone just had to hate. The weatherman on 9 News predicted 85 degrees and sunny, a nice August day. The reality of the day was a blizzard. Go figure. Not that Samantha Carter had any idea what so ever. All she knew (or rather, didn’t know), was that Dr. Janet Frasier had been snowbound and thus was unable to drag her away from her computer long enough to have a cup of coffee and whatever passed for food in the mess hall. Such was her concentration that when Daniel Jackson wandered into her office to see if she could give him a ride home in her nice, big, snow-proof Ford Explorer, she was quite effectively imitating a zombie. He left, and came back a few minutes later with a cup of coffee and stood there in the doorway waiting for her to notice he was there.

Watching Sam come out of a trance-like state was a source of great amusement on slow days. He and Jack had a long running bet going about how long it would take her to come out of her nerd comas. So far, Teal’c was ahead. This time, the first sign of non-geek life was a slight twitching of her nose when the scent of coffee drifted over. Then, she leaned back slightly in her chair, still typing away, but at a slightly slower speed. All of a sudden, a hilarious look of confusion came over her as she hastily deleted what she was typing. But not before Daniel, who’d moved closer by that point, saw that she’d typed the words “yummy yummy coffee” in the middle of a paragraph on the affects of time-dilation on ‘gate travel to the Pegasus Galaxy.

Frantically, she looked around, and blushed deeply when she saw Daniel smirking at her. “Coffee?” he asked, holding out the mug to her. She took it, glowering.

“You didn’t see that.”

“’Course not. You leaving anytime soon?”

“I only got here…” She looked at her watch, then looked again. “Yesterday.”

“Come on, I need a ride, and you need a break.” When she hesitated, looking back at her computer with longing, he added, “My car is useless right now, and I don’t want to stay here until the next mission.”

Sighing, she saved her work, drank the rest of the coffee in one gulp, and grabbed her coat and briefcase up. As they walked down the hall, she suddenly asked, “What happened to your car?”

“It got buried in the blizzard.”

Just in front of the elevator, she stopped dead. Looking back at him with an even more confused expression on her face, she said, “It is still August, right?” It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that she’d completely lost track of time. Forgetting whole months could happen, she supposed.

“Yes, it’s still August. And we’ve gotten about 3 feet of snow since yesterday, and my car is buried in it.”

All Sam could think to say was, “Huh.” They reached the entrance of the mountain and she groaned, remembering at the last moment that her shoes were not made for snow, and vowing to find a way for Janet to buy her a new pair. Since she never bothered to warn her of the snow, it was clearly her fault. “Hey, where is Janet, anyway?” It finally sunk in that she hadn’t seen her since leaving her house the day before.

Daniel was wiping snow off the windshield with his sleeve and all she heard of his response was “She… car… angel… Cass… cookies… power.”

She refrained from asking him to repeat himself until after she’d gotten the car started and they were making their way carefully down the mountain. “Ok, now, what did you say?”

He was busy looking through her cd collection and glanced up at her, questioningly.

“What was it you said about Janet?”

“Oh, that.” He pulled out a random cd and put it on, and she blushed again when the bagpipe music started. He started laughing, and put on another cd, this one by the Bare-Naked Ladies. “She called about nine hours ago and said that they’d gotten four feet of snow in their driveway, so she couldn’t get the car out. So instead, Cassie and the dog were outside making snow angels, and Cassie had wanted to use the time to make a million cookies for some team fundraiser, and instead they lost power for about 3 hours. But they got it back.”

“Oh,” was all she said as she carefully navigated her way through a not-very-dead Colorado Springs. She was quiet for the rest of the drive, barely noticing that she’d actually stopped at Daniel’s house, dropped him off, and said good-bye, before setting off again. It took about thirty minutes to make the ten minute drive to Janet’s house, and she was amused to see evidence of the snow angels Daniel had mentioned. Also, there were tracks to the front door from the somewhat less snow filled road through a mountain of snow, and she decided to brave it.

She looked like a snow man by the time she reached the front door, and after ringing the bell she bounced around the porch trying to get some of the clingy snow off of her clothes. She didn’t hear the door open, and shrieked when she turned around to find Janet grinning back at her with camera in hand. “You didn’t…”

Janet’s grin turned slightly evil as she turned back towards the door and took off running, tossing the camera to Cassie on the stairs as she went by. Sam was right behind her and caught up to her easily in the family room, tackling her onto the couch. Janet squealed as Sam shoved her hands under her sweater as she landed solidly on top of her. “Get off! You’re getting me wet!”

A drop of melted snow landed on her cheek from Sam’s hair, and Sam pulled a hand out from under her to wipe it off. She closed the distance between them, and just as their lips touched, she whispered, “I hope so.” They kissed passionately, shifting around on the couch until Janet was tucked between Sam and the back of the couch. Pulling back, Sam watched her through hooded eyes, before leaning in to kiss her again. “I love snow days in Colorado.”